Hugging Bobby B.

by Jacob T. Ristow

Earlier today, as I sauntered past the mechanical engineering building with a friend of mine, I received the best gift possible on the crux of finals week: Bobby B. Indeed, the president of our acclaimed University of Minnesota (one Robert H. Bruininks) was closing in on my compatriot and me with lightning speed. I had to act quickly. Throwing all care and discretion to the wind, I quickly fell to my knees and began kowtowing to the metaphorical gentle giant, proclaiming for all to hear: âÄúWeâÄôre not worthy! WeâÄôre not worthy!âÄù Rather than denounce me a lunatic, our one and only Bobby B. opened his arms to me âÄî literally. Embracing me with a hug, he joyously professed, âÄúFinally, somebody gets it!âÄù and continued on his way. Hindsight being 20/20, as I recall the sensation of my cheek grazing the silken fibers of his sports jacket, I canâÄôt help but feel a sense of compassion and understanding for this kind soul. Our meeting symbolized academia itself: the meeting of two (or more) people for the common purpose of bettering those involved. While this isolated event may soon be lost to the annals of time, I shall forever treasure it âÄî and encourage you to, as well. As the student body and those associated with it continue to scorn this man for the decisions he makes every day (to the best of his abilities, might I add), keep in mind that he is, indeed, a man. This is no artificial creation you languish with your calls for change and progress, but one of flesh, blood, palpable sinew and bone. While I may have been fortunate enough to experience this firsthand, I hope my account will serve as a lesson for all, best put to words by the one and only Gandhi: âÄúAn eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.âÄù Jacob T. Ristow University undergraduate student