Last minute costume guide

Slackers! Look at the date âÄî Oct. 30, one day before All HallowâÄôs Eve , and, as always, there are the few and the costume-less raining on the dressing-up parade. DonâÄôt resort to buying a costume last-minute from some trash bag Halloween shop at the mall; we here at A&E have compiled some frighteningly easy and totally creative costumes that can be pulled together with stuff lying around the average Como or Dinkytown residence. In the immortal words of âÄúMean Girls,âÄù âÄúHalloween is the one time a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it. The most hardcore girls just wear lingerie and some form of animal ears.âÄù Cinematic advice aside, our eyes can only take so much. Ladies, please âÄî just because itâÄôs Halloween does not mean itâÄôs prime time for you to raise the skirt hems to nonexistent levels, pull up the thigh-high socks and tie on a midriff-exposing bra top to concoct some sort of âÄúcostume.âÄù Antennae or animal ears do not, indeed, make one a âÄúsexy beeâÄù or a âÄúsexy bunny.âÄù ItâÄôs much more fun to attract attention with tongue-in-cheek cleverness than skimpy lingerie. Consider our collective of ideas. Sylvia Plath âÄî Literary ambitions? English major, perhaps? Cobble together a dead poetess costume with a full, knee-length skirt, cardigan, pearl earrings, and, of course, the pièce de résistance âÄî a cardboard box âÄúovenâÄù to fit snugly around your shoulders. Politically correct? Maybe not. Appropriate for the holiday? Absolutely. âÄúWalk of ShameâÄùâÄî You can dress just like those girls who stumble out of frat houses and Dinkytown apartment buildings in the blinding, post-party Saturday morning light. Just smear up some smoky eyes, rub off some red lipstick until itâÄôs smudgy and stained, and rat up your hair as though invisible hands have been running through it all night long. The very adventurous can stick a Trojan or two in the pocket of a white menâÄôs shirt. Stumble on! âÄúBabeâÄùraham Lincoln âÄî Why be a traditional stuffy old president when you can be a sexy one? Sexy to a degree, anyway. Check out Forever 21 , the goldmine for the trampiest dress under $20 and accessorize it with some cheap metallic heels. Top that skankalicious ensemble off with a stovepipe hat and a drawn-on beard in the vein of Honest Abe. âÄúIndieâÄùana Jones âÄî Another clever little twist on a âÄúhistoricalâÄù figure is this oh-so-hipster rendering of whip-cracking Harrison Ford. This can be adapted for both dudes and chicks, which makes it all the more versatile. Keep the fedora, but subtract the khaki Indy-pants for skinny indie-pants. Trade boots for Converse, and clip a janitorâÄôs keychain alongside the whip at your hip. Danny & Sandy âÄî The immortal âÄúGreaseâÄù sweethearts make a cute duo costume and a simple one at that. Every college girl has leggings and a black top, and menâÄôs vintage cardigans multiply like rabbits in the thrift stores. Boys, slick back the hair into a greasy pompadour, find two leather jackets and âÄútell me about it, stud.âÄù Patrick Bateman from âÄúAmerican PsychoâÄù âÄî Anyone who has read Bret Easton EllisâÄôs âÄô80s psychopath-yuppie satirical novel or seen Christian Bale tear it up (literally) in the film version knows that BatemanâÄôs a character who manipulates the mind and takes up a little corner of the brain. It happens. So to emulate that American Express -toting, ax-wielding killer, don an old suit (it doesnâÄôt have to be Arman i), drape it with a few clear plastic bags or a rain poncho and splatter the whole thing with ketchup in lieu of prostitute blood. Now go, go return those videotapes. Richie Tenenbaum âÄî Wes AndersonâÄôs Tenenbaums are awesome (and surprisingly easy) costumes for the film buffs out there, and RichieâÄôs constant ensemble of khaki suit, striped polo, sweatbands and sunglasses can be pieced together on a whim. Include a tennis racket and maybe even a Margot or a track-suited Chas for companionship and voila! Dysfunction at its quirkiest. Tobias Funke âÄî âÄúArrested DevelopmentâÄôsâÄù resident analrapist (thatâÄôs an analyst and a therapist, thank you very much) and never-nude is a costume for the coolest of the cool kids. All thatâÄôs needed is a pair of cutoffs and maybe some blue body paint for channeling Dr. Funke in his âÄúBlue Man GroupâÄù phase. Pulling together a costume is so much simpler now, isnâÄôt it? Perhaps a trip to Everyday People or Ragstock is in order for that one essential piece, but trust us, itâÄôs so much more fun than a costume-in-a-bag.