Pandas aren’t prudes, like porn too

Hi, I’m Panda. You might have seen me splayed across the pages of last semester’s finals issue. I’ve also appeared in such publications as “Panda Playhouse,” “Panda’s Pleasure Palace” and “Bearly Legal.”

People think the reason pandas are endangered is because we don’t “put out.” But I’m no frigid bear. I’m just looking for a good time. If you look me up in the dictionary, it’ll tell you: “Panda: Eats, shoots and leaves.”

I’m pretty hot property around the Daily offices. Once you go white and black, you never go back. Currently I’m an aspiring exotic dancer. Maybe Yudof would give me free tuition if I gave him a lap dance. Then I could ask him coyly, “Is that bamboo in your pants or are you just happy to see me?” If you’re hungry for more Panda check out my Web cam at www.pandavoyeur.com.

Panda welcomes comments questions,
comments, and sexual advances.