It’s that time of year again.
That’s right, men’s basketball has finally overtaken our lousy football team as the number one spectator sport on campus.
Oh, and Chirstmas is coming too.
In light of these two developments, here’s “Twas the Night Before Christmas” ñ Gopher-style:
‘Twas the first day of finals
And the week before Christmas,
At home sat the football team
Crying ,”Bowl season missed us!”
Glen Mason stared out
Of his window in fear,
Wishing Johnson, Carter,
And Riley still would be here.
The football fans were awake
All bummed in their beds,
While visions of a passing game
Danced in their heads.
And Travis in number seven,
And Asad in an eight,
The controversy finally ends
Over who starts which date.
And as a consolation,
The border battle they won,
But in them stick a fork
Because the season is done.
And to their computers
Writers flew like a flash,
Booted up their PCs,
Glen Mason to bash.
The columnists will complain
That the Gophers can’t win,
While Mason wishes desperately
Ohio State would’ve chose him.
When, what to the upset
Gophers fans should come then,
But a coach named Monson,
And eight talented tall men.
With a touted freshman,
Taller than you but not thicker,
I knew in a moment
It must be Rick Rickert.
Though younger than most,
High hopes coach will hold
That one day Rick will be greater
Than a Przybilla named Joel.
“Now, Rickert! Now, Rychart!
Now, Holman and Burleson!
On, Bauer! On, Bennett!
On, Hargrow and Fleming!
To the top of the standings!
To the top of the polls!
Now shoot away! Score away!
Crash the boards all!”
He spoke not a word,
But went straight to his work,
Unlike coach Glen Mason,
Known by all as a jerk.
And to help the program,
On his recruits he will dote,
Unlike Clem Haskins,
known for losing his coat.
So as the season begins,
Prepare to get on your feet,
Because Gophers hoops is here
To avoid getting beat.
And remember one thing
That will make winter bright,
“Glorious basketball to all,
And to football goodnight!”
Happy Holidays to all and make sure to be good to each other.
Aaron Blakovich covers up in bed next to Soulchild because Soulchild locked both of them out of Soulchild’s house.
