We are all felons now

by Keith Lawrence

If you’re thinking about filling up your water bottle at that drinking fountain, think again. In case you haven’t heard, the Minnesota Supreme Court recently declared bong water containing trace amounts or narcotics a “mixture”, thus allowing those who smoke small amounts of drugs such as methamphetamine and cocaine to be charged with more severe crimes, such as 1st Degree Possession–provided that the weight of their bong water is equal to or greater than 25 grams. As one Daily contributor correctly asserted, the Legislature is to blame for drafting an arguably obscure law. The statute plainly states that any mixture of cocaine, heroin, or methamphetamine, regardless of purity, weighing twenty five or more grams qualifies as a Controlled Substance Crime in the 1st Degree. Recommended sentence: 86 months in a state correctional facility. In less recent news, it was widely reported that most, if not all, drinking water in the United States contains trace amounts of various pharmaceuticals that enter the sewage system through urine. It has also been discovered that over 50% of twenty dollar bills and 90% of one hundred dollar bills have trace amounts of cocaine on them. Given these facts, is it far-fetched to believe that there are also trace amounts of cocaine in our drinking water? The Supreme Court’s ruling sets a dangerous precedent. According to the court’s interpretation of Minnesota’s drug laws, we’re all felons now. Keith Lawrence University undergraduate student