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The Minnesota Daily

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The liberal inquisition

Liberals revel in Founding Fathers’ Deist beliefs but ignore their true intentions.

Judging from the tear-filled, fascist-baiting condemnations I’ve received over the last month, liberals follow a simple, three-step process whenever a conservative outwits them.

First, and invariably, the left stops debating the facts and begins arbitrarily leaping from topic to topic, almost purposefully avoiding any argument that resembles thought above a cocker spaniel’s comprehension.

Step two, our nebbish liberal friends retreat to their patented sobbing condemnations of society’s racism, homophobia, sexism and classism. (College Greens get stuck in this stage.)

By far most importantly, liberals resort to demonizing conservatives and their, as Ann Coulter calls it, “Jesus thing.”

As a general rule of thumb, if you ever break from the left’s hypnotic narcissism and ask a liberal about Christianity, you get the same confused, awkward, pained look a dog makes when it scrapes its butt on a sidewalk. From reading The New York Times’ editorials you’d figure that even mentioning the name “Jesus” in public were an atrocity tantamount to Srebrenica.

Inasmuch as the left recoils in nauseated disgust when the word “God” is merely spoken, the secular disease mandates that every democratically installed expression of spirituality be removed from the public sphere. This results in American Civil Liberties Union-led secular jihads to eliminate “Under God” from the Pledge of Allegiance, military guards from active service who say “God Bless” to grieving families, “Christmas Vacation” from school calendars and the Ten Commandments from public property.

Of course, the one curious tidbit of information we never hear from the kumbaya-singing congregations of North American Man/Boy Love Association aficionados in the liberal camp is the First Amendment’s true objective. Liberals revel in citing the Deist beliefs of the Founding Fathers but turn a blind eye to their constitutional intentions.

Exemplifying the left’s dedication to truth, I have yet to hear liberals talk about days of “fasting and prayer” mandated by Thomas Jefferson in 1779 Virginia. You never hear about “Sabbath breakers” bills that Jefferson and James Madison endorsed, which, consistent with Christian Sabbath day principles, fined people who worked Sunday. You certainly never hear about Chief Justice John Marshall’s support for a 1784 Virginian bill that used taxpayer dollars to directly fund “teachers of Christianity.”

Could you imagine the panic-stricken hysteria if Gov. Tim Pawlenty were to order a day of “fasting and prayer” this Sunday? Liberals would explode, though they might finally get off their tawdry and hollow “tax cuts for the rich” and “Bush lied, kids died” chants.

The left – and so many judges – has no clue about the true constitutional principles set in place by our founders. And they really don’t care. The Ten Commandments in a court house is, in the words of The New York Times, “a clear violation of the First Amendment’s Establishment Clause,” and that’s all you need to know.

Thankfully, most adults disagree with “the newspaper of record.” Seventy percent of adults believe the Ten Commandments can be on public property. Ninety percent of adults believe “Under God” should remain in the Pledge. Sixty percent of adults don’t believe school prayer violates the First Amendment.

So here we are, in the one place liberals know they can backstab Americans. We can only hope the Supreme Court employs the same common sense Chief Justice Marshall did in our nation’s earliest years when it takes up two Ten Commandments cases in the upcoming months. In five words, don’t listen to the liberals.

Darren Bernard welcomes comments at [email protected].

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