Things we considered covering but didn’t

This week’s events that didn’t merit their own articles.

A&E prides itself on bringing you as much culture as possible in a few pages a week, but sometimes you might wonder why that new album youâÄôve been on the waitlist for was glazed over or the newest Stephenie Meyer novel was ignored altogether. Well, just as you can only cram so much entertainment into a week, the Daily gods only allow finite space in the pages of A&E. Here is a rundown of some culture we could have written articles about but didnâÄôt. âÄúHeâÄôs Just Not That Into YouâÄù Director: Kevin Kwapis Why oh why would the illustrious Arts and Entertainment section pass up sitting though 129 minutes of Jennifer Aniston and Ben Affleck ? Well, A&E is not so supportive of turning a self-help book into a rom-com with pretty versions of brainless female stereotypes. Plus, weâÄôre not fans of the man-chasing maniacs on the âÄúBachelor,âÄù especially when Jennifer ConnellyâÄôs face is superimposed on one of the contestants. The Fray âÄôs new self-titled album Remember when you were 18 and you really loved the Fray? You would run home from school, your life full of promise, your mom fixing you some mac-and-cheese with cut-up hotdogs. After hours of industrious math homework and the first season of âÄúSurvivor ,âÄù you would mourn the death of romance by listening to The FrayâÄôs inarticulate lyrics. Well, everyone in A&E is at least 19, and weâÄôve kissed those days goodbye. Daytime TVâÄôs First Gay Wedding Those of you that skip class to watch âÄúAll My ChildrenâÄù know that Erica KaneâÄôs lesbian daughter Bianca is getting married. Our guess is the chairman of the Gay Mafia put this in place to further the crazy-liberal homosexual agenda. Way to go K.D. Lang ! Now if only âÄúSix Feet Under ,âÄù âÄúWill and GraceâÄù and âÄúQueer as FolkâÄù would get the message. Jessica SimpsonâÄôs recent weight gain. Celebrity weight is a touchy issue on the media front. Opinions either align with the ladies on âÄúThe ViewâÄù that practically endorse carb-loading or E! , who has criticized her choice of unflattering high-waisted pants. WeâÄôve decided to stay out of the controversy (though weâÄôve heard that the chili Jessica Simpson eats is just too delicious to not endorse). The Oscar for Sound Editing Sure, weâÄôre all for the OscarâÄôs celebrity extravagance during the economic depression, but times are tough, and with budget cuts should come Oscar cuts. A&E voted, and we feel the Sound Editing should be the first off the Academy Award Island. ItâÄôs just a corporate device to prolong the product-placement journey to âÄúBest Picture.âÄù