Dear America, I want a divorce

I’ll always love you, America. I’ll always remember the good times more than the bad.

I want a divorce. It’s very hard for me to say, and I never thought I’d say it, but I think it’s the right thing for both of us. We’ve changed. We’ve grown apart. Things just aren’t the same as they used to be, and, frankly, I don’t see them changing anytime in the near future.

It used to be different. When I was younger and just out of college, we just hit it off. We were idealistic, adventurous, we tried new things and we were able to stay on the cusp of social development and technology. We had friends all around us; everyone looked at us like the model couple. We listened to each other. We were at the top of the world.

Then, four years ago, we hit a bump – a bump that’s continued into a slow, methodical derailment. We had a squabble about who ran the household, and we couldn’t seem to resolve it. You claim you won (you didn’t), and I just wanted to keep our relationship together. Then you started to really change. You found God. Now, I got nothing wrong with religion or spirituality, but your born-again kick is starting to grate on me.

We hit a major crisis, and in the face of adversity, from how we reacted, I learned a lot about you and me. You started getting more belligerent, picking fights when they weren’t even necessary. You got sloppy at picking your battles. You started getting angry a lot more easily. I feel you’ve been anti-social to a lot of our friends, calling them names, making fun of their differences. Everything between us has become an argument, it’s all so divisive. Topping it off, I think the way you’ve handled our finances is horrendous – we had a healthy bank account only four years ago and now I don’t know when we’ll get out. To think you used to complain about my spending.

Still, I managed to keep hope alive. I wanted to believe you could change. But this year, I’ve realized it’s not going to happen. You’re not going to change, at least not anytime soon, anyway. You’ve only become more entrenched in your beliefs. I feel like an alien in my own home. I’ve given this what I thought was adequate time, but everybody’s got a


We need to end this now, while we’re still talking. Now, while we can still be friends and while we can still work together and at least be business partners. I’m honestly afraid what we’ll be like if we continue on this trajectory. Better now rather than later.

I’ll always love you, America. I’ll always remember the good times more than the bad. I’ll remember what we stood for, those lovely ideals, but now I realize that to grow, I need to leave this relationship. It’s time for the next step.


Blue Boy

P.S. I know this will annoy you, but I’m taking California and the rest of the West Coast with me. You understand. You never really liked it all that much anyway.