Network: TPSreporter; BunchaC-Fors!; GOTICE; NUTTy girl

>I’ve never written before, and I really enjoy this section, it’s hilarious! Net: So, you’re a sophomore? So I figured I’d write in about what Random Student said in Dr. Date’s section (oct.28). The guy made a great point about getting more raunchy with the questions, but who is he to say Dr. Date is more interesting than “goddamn network”?! BLASPHEMY! On a couple levels too. But oh well, I guess it worked because the following Dr. Date entry was about S&M and ‘golden showers’ mmm, yummy! But I still think somebody should send all the butt-pillaging pirates, guitar-pounding ninjas, and rabie-infested gophers after that guy for what he said about network. oh yeah, before I forget, Dr. Date wasn’t very funny sayin’ ‘dateworkia’ guh. Later masturbaters! Net: This e-mail is presented as part of our “Help the Illiterate” campaign.

From BunchaC-Fors!

Hey Net…here’s the deal. I have the unfortunate opportunity of having a class at Sanford Hall. Every week when I go to that class, I walk past extended housing rooms on the first floor. Each time I walk past, this room obviously filled with a bunch of dumb broads has different obscene things opposing John Kerry on the doors. Usually it’s just a picture of John Kerry with a long nose stating “vote change”, implying that he’s a liar. The small things never really get to me…but this week these dumb girls had pictures of aborted fetuses with Kerry’s name all over them. That is just NUTTing wrong. First off, no one should vote or not vote for someone simply because of abortion laws, and secondly, it is no one’s NUTTing business! If you don’t want to have an abortion then don’t have one! Geez! Also…they continue to have quotes from Kerry that they think make him look stupid. Funny how they can’t find any intelligent quotes from Bush that would support their whacko ideas. I am outraged by these stupid, stupid people. Keep your insanity on the inside of your room ’cause no one wants to see it! Net: Unless it’s funny insanity.

From GOTICE

Net, GOTICE here, longtime reader first time writer. What’s the deal with this minute clinic in Coffman Union? Students are paying student fees for a student union that is more interested in serving staff and faculty. Replacing this minute clinic should be an ice cream parlor or porn rental of some sort. Something that will benefit the students and not the people that went to university in the 70’s. Not to mention we are paying service fees for inefficient overpriced Boynton health services. The commuter lounge is already packed with people that have nothing better to do than read the Network and watch days of our lives. They do not need to be mixed with ill patients from the clinic, instead they need to be licking ice cream or licking something. Net: Bush?

From NUTTy girl

whats up Net? I gotta ask, what the HELL does NUTT mean? I recently transferred from the dirrty south back up here to my home state, and i must say i thouroughly enjoy reading this lovely back page before and during class! But i notice almost every day there is at least one letter including the word/anacronism of NUTT! And i had thought i figured it out…but the context of it changes every damn time! Please help a poor misguided small towner/former southerner/confused undergrad figure out what the heck y’all are trying to say!! Oh and as far as this whole mascot campaign thing goes-you gotta admit a gopher is pretty lame. Pirates had cool outfits and pets and lots of bling bling. Although…if you lose Goldy, you lose NUTT (whatever the hell that is!) Net: Help the illiterate – please.