Back with a bone to pick

The USA’s resident bitter skeletor spouts off again.

Extensive Photoshop attempts to humanize her always fail. Photo Courtesy Crown Forum.

Ashley Goetz

Extensive Photoshop attempts to humanize her always fail. Photo Courtesy Crown Forum.

TITLE: âÄúGuilty: Liberal âÄòVictimsâÄô and Their Assault on AmericaâÄù AUTHOR: Ann Coulter PAGES: 264 PRICE: $19.99, Target Barack Obama won the presidency and Ann Coulter is pissed. So of course sheâÄôs got a bad, bad taste in her mouth, and with her new book âÄúGuilty: Liberal âÄòVictimsâÄô and Their Assault on America,âÄù sheâÄôs out to expose liberals as the true bullies and the press as their slingshot. Coulter makes her living being outrageous, running off at the mouth about topics guaranteed to raise the hackles on any American. (Sept. 11 widows, Barack Obama, comparing Christians to Nazis; the list never ends.) An objective reader has to assume the reason that her books remain New York Times bestsellers is because of their bordering-on-ridiculous content, not because Coulter has an assembly line of faithful followers hanging and agreeing on her every word. SheâÄôs really cranked âÄúGuiltyâÄù out in record time, because it talks about recent issues like the Gov. Sarah Palin catastrophe, the John Edwards sex scandal and the Franken senatorial race. âÄúGuiltyâÄù begins with a meandering 33-page âÄúthesis,âÄù with CoulterâÄôs hectic train of thought and ranting pace, pointing her skeletal, accusatory fingers at fake memoirists, racists, single moms, âÄúThe New York Times,âÄù and, of course, the liberal media. She tries to argue that racism is a dying concept by pointing out that there are more âÄúcrush fetishistsâÄù (men who are aroused by women in stiletto heels crushing frogs and talking dirty to said amphibians) than there are members of the Ku Klux Klan. Coulter really has it out for single moms, blaming them for societal problems and accusing them of depriving prospective adoptive parents of children. She paints Angelina Jolie as a baby-hungry slut pre-Pitt and points her claw at Hollywood for glorifying the single mom lifestyle. She despises sex education in schools, going so far as to assume that every kindergartner in the public school system is familiar with the purpose of condoms. You can imagine how Coulter feels about the mediaâÄôs adoration of Barack Obama; the back cover of the book proclaims it in bold letters: âÄúThe media wanted to screw Obama, but only in the sense that they literally wanted to have sex with him.âÄù Coulter refers to Obama throughout the book by a variety of nicknames: Obama the Redeemer, Obambi, B. Hussein Obama. It begins to border on the ridiculous, but ridiculousness is CoulterâÄôs shtick, whether she readily admits it or not. To be fair, which happens to be one of CoulterâÄôs favorite phrases in an attempt to legitimize her vindictive arguments against the âÄúliberal media,âÄù she does manage to raise a few valid points, though most of them get lost in her lengthy diatribes. ItâÄôs as if Coulter sat down to blog and came away with a book. Once in awhile sheâÄôs funny in a spiteful, sarcastic manner and âÄúGuiltyâÄù satisfies its purpose by pushing buttons. There is an astounding 33 pages of citation to back up her facts, so even if sheâÄôs distorting reality in her own controversial way, at least sheâÄôs showing us her detective work. Coulter makes some totally ridiculous claims, like that âÄúFox NewsâÄù is the least biased news station in the nation, and tries to back that up by hating on Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews . She also hates on Halle Berry for using âÄúrace baitingâÄù to win her Oscar for âÄúMonsterâÄôs BallâÄù and then claiming that the moment was âÄúso much bigger than me.âÄù While reading âÄúGuilty,âÄù and while watching Coulter on her various television appearances to promote the book, one has to wonder why sheâÄôs so bitter. The panel on âÄúThe ViewâÄù attempted, despite their evident dislike of the skinny blonde, to give Coulter reasonable space to discuss certain concepts in âÄúGuilty,âÄù though Coulter preferred to turn the conversation to their supposed âÄúattacksâÄù on her personally. ItâÄôs likely that her sour visage isnâÄôt going to go away, because after reading âÄúGuilty,âÄù itâÄôs obvious that Ann Coulter can get âÄútorkedâÄù off about anything, anywhere.