Kill them with kindness

“No More Minnesota Nice.” That’s what the 2012 football spirit shirt says. If I was really nice, I would listen to the shirt, obeying its command for a more ferocious student section and perhaps a more confrontational, aggressive student body in general. Maybe I’ve already achieved what the shirt is calling for: I’m stubborn. But the thing is, I’m too stubborn to give up my newly acquired Minnesota nice. I’ve only been in the Twin Cities for about a month, and already my personality has changed. When I first arrived here, I was going to prove that “Minnesota nice” was just a fallacy. I wanted to test the sense of the kindness that permeates our bohemian, cutting-edge Portland, Ore., of the Midwest. Well, I was in for a lesson. I “accidentally” dropped coins and fake dollar bills, only to have them eagerly returned to me every time. When I told a potential fraternity brother I had chosen another greek chapter, I received in return a friendly invitation to keep hanging out at his chapter’s house. I wanted to prove Minnesota nice was just a fallacy, that Minnesotans are no nicer than anyone else. But my efforts only proved that I was meaner than just about everyone else. So, why, I ask, why give up Minnesota nice? I’ve been there before, and it’s not worth even a football game.