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“The Watchers” is a film adaptation of the 2022 book of the same name by A.M. Shine.
Review: “The Watchers”
Published June 13, 2024

Will this drudgery ever end?

What am I, University of Minnesota, some sort of miracle machine?

All this school monotony is making me more and more anxious for summer to begin. Yesterday’s classes seemed like the final straw, collapsing my mental and physical camel like, well Ö a final straw placed on a camel’s back. Ugh. See – this hectic work-week has even left me at a loss for decent metaphors.

I know what you’re probably thinking, “What the hell is this guy talking about? It’s only a four-day week!”

That might be true, but I’ll be darned if it hasn’t been the most exhausting week of school I’ve had since I struggled through the standardized Iowa Test of Basic Skills in fifth grade. The last few days made me really reconsider taking a 13 credit load – three of which, I might add, are for a health and fitness class that meets two times a week. Give me a break!

On top of actually going to classes, I had even more to keep me busy. I read over three course syllabuses (I’ll never get that hour of my life back), made an index card with personal information on it (as if my ID number wasn’t enough) and bought a (really heavy) book in the bookstore. And then I had to find time to write this bogus column. What am I, University of Minnesota, some sort of miracle machine? Gee golly, English majors have it rough. Maybe I should switch to I.T.

What makes everything so stressful is my complete and utter lack of free time. It seems like I have been working this hard for the entire school year! I barely have time to spend three days lazily moping around, let alone four. And when it’s time for my daily nap, it usually gets cut short by a few hours because of stress-induced nightmares.

It might seem like this is too much complaining. School can’t be this bad right? Your suspicions are probably correct – school hasn’t been the only thing bothering me lately. Let me just say that the world can be a pretty cruel place sometimes.

On Wednesday, I had to walk all the way over the bridge to the West Bank, just to meet a friend. What kind of friend puts you through such anguish? We aren’t speaking to each other anymore, and I was too tired and upset to come back to the East Bank, so I called my mom to pick me up. She wasn’t so pleased to drive 300 miles just to do it, either. Thanks again for ruining my day, Brandon. Some friend you are. But I digress Ö

The only way to make it through all this drudgery is with a positive attitude. That’s what I keep telling myself, anyway. Every nerve-racking day since school started, I’ve hoped that the following day would offer something better. Well, guess what? Today is tomorrow, and I have not undone what yesterday caused to be for the current now, maybe. No?

I’m sick of school. It’s making me stupid. My relationships with friends are deteriorating, my naps are limited to only a few hours and sometimes it seems like I have a class every day of the week.

Worse yet, it seems like this school year started a few days ago.

Mat Koehler welcomes comments at [email protected].

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