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The Minnesota Daily

Serving the UMN community since 1900

The Minnesota Daily

Serving the UMN community since 1900

The Minnesota Daily

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Sweating bullets

You have to think fast. You swiftly decide that the mysterious villain has taken off down the sidewalk to your left, passing the Law Building and heading toward the entrance to Willey Hall that faces the Washington Avenue Bridge.
You follow the direction you think the culprit has taken. Your breath is coming hard and fast, sweat pours down your face and thoughts race through your anxiety-ridden, final-test-skipping brain. “How will I make up my test? How will I make my plane?
Just then– CRASH! You’ve run face first into a suspicious-looking goateed man. The man extends a slightly palsied, gnarled, liver-spotted hand to you. In it he has a small, green, vinyl-covered book with pages that have had their ends covered in gold leaf. Embossed on the kelly green cover in the same gold leaf are two words: New Testament.
You try to see around the man as he starts in on his talk about the end of the world and your immortal soul. Right now you’re more concerned with what will happen to your soul if you miss both your final and your fantastic spring break trip, but the little man keeps moving and blocking your vision.
You excuse yourself from the man as politely as possible, having explained that you’re late to class and already thinking of possibly converting to Judaism. Moving past the man you see not just one, but two figures dressed in black and running across the pedestrian plaza in front of Rarig Center.
One figure is darting toward the bridge walkway. The other is taking the stairs down to the bus stop in front of Blegen Hall two at a time.
Who do you follow? Which shadowy figure dressed in black is the one that stole your plane ticket? Time is running out.

If you follow the figure crossing the bridge …See ESPRESSO UNMASK page 13
If you follow the figure down the stairs to the bus stop…See CRASH TEST DUMMY page 17

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