Dear Dr. Date,
This is in response to the letter from Lost — if you want to print it, go for it. But if you want, forward this to him and let him know he is not alone. Ya see, I too lost someone with whom I had been in a long relationship. She said much of the same things your ex said to you. I too wrote to Dr. Date looking for comfort and advice. All of this happened to me in April, and I am here to tell you that it does get better, but this will always be with you. I too felt (and still do feel) a great sense of loss and heartache when I think about her. I still cry from time to time, and I have yet to be able to take all of her pictures down. I went through a period during which I couldn’t eat for more than five days. I couldn’t sleep; I hated myself and my life. Luckily, I have some great friends and great parents. Surround yourself with them. They know what you’re going through and they are always willing to listen — trust me. I started seeing a counselor to help me get through my bouts of depression. Don’t be afraid to get help if you need it. I also turned to poetry and my music. Find something to do, even if you have never done it before. Try to get involved and get your mind off of her. I won’t lie, it has been six months and I am not ready to date other people, nor have I even had an urge to be with someone else. I probably won’t be ready for months. I am just trying to take some time and find things that make me happy. It’s not easy and it takes a lot of time; just go one day at a time. And if I may suggest, read Kahlil Girbran … his poetry always makes me feel good.
–Recovering Love Addict Thanks for writing in, friend. I’m glad you are doing better. I’ve had three or so serious relationships that went on for some time. To this day, I still get flashbacks that always produce a pang of acute sadness. A simple and mundane occurrence in the present can trigger a little memory and once my mind starts going, it usually doesn’t stop. There was a time in my life when these unshakable memories bothered me and I just wanted to get rid of them. Now I let them come and go like the harmless ghosts they are.
I don’t mind being sad sometimes because I know things will get better as long as I take good care of my body, mind and soul. These hauntings reassure me that all the trouble and love I endured and embraced meant something. It was real. This means that the love we share with another person always exists, it just sublimates into a different, more ethereal form. I wish you a blanket to keep you warm.