Gopher four score big ’til Pohl says ‘Bye, Bye, Bye’

D.J. La

In a bombshell statement released yesterday, Johnny Pohl, vocalist and co-founder of the Minnesota pop music sensation Four Score said he is quitting the band.
Pohl said he owed the decision to “personal and musical differences between himself and the members of the group,” and will return to the Gophers men’s hockey team immediately.
The news stunned the other members of Four Score, the group’s record label and legions of fans all over the University campus.
“I can’t believe they broke up,” distraught fan Patty Melt said. “They were like, cooler than anything in the world.”
Melt and hordes of other fans attended a vigil beginning just after 10 p.m. yesterday evening outside the group’s recording studio in Folwell Hall.
“We’re not going to go home until Four Score gets back together,” Melt said between sobs.
Four Score began its recording career only four months ago, after Pohl and former hockey teammate Jordan Leopold jumped on stage in Olso, Norway for a raucous rendition of `N Sync’s “Bye Bye Bye.”
The duo brought the house down, setting club records for loudest applause and largest collection of women’s undergarments thrown on stage.
“This sure beats chasing those North Dakota forwards all over the ice,” Leopold said at the time.
Pohl and Leopold went back to Minnesota looking for two additional recruits. Leopold suggested Dan Nystrom and Ben Utecht of the Gophers football team, having seen the pair sing a sterling version of the “Star Spangled Banner” at several University athletic events.
Nystrom and Utecht agreed, and Four Score was born. The group’s first album “…And Seven Years Ago”, featuring the hit single “Love On An Escalator” raced up the charts.
“We’ve never been so swamped with listener requests,” Radio Not O.K. deejay Curt Enrod said. “The minute we put “Escalator” on the air, the studio phones lit up.”
Four Score embarked on a whirlwind tour of Stadium Village and DinkyTown, selling out every restaurant and bar on the circuit. Four Score also performed three “Unplugged” dates at local coffee shops.
Their two-hour shows were the thing of instant legend, highlighted by Utecht’s a cappella version of Four Score’s monster ballad “Almost Missed Bowl Season.”
But all the success, fame and money couldn’t stop tensions within the band from mounting. Pohl suggested the group move toward country music, while Leopold and Utecht argued for staying with a proven pop music formula.
Meanwhile, Nystrom — tabbed the “cute one” by Four Score fans — had developed a serious talk show addiction, and was rarely seen outside of his hotel room until late in the afternoon.
With Pohl’s decision to leave Four Score final, the remaining three are looking for a replacement. Leopold said the search will begin after Nystrom completes his treatment.
Pohl has not ruled out an eventual return to the music business, stating he has recorded material for a solo album, tentatively entitled “Red Wingin’ It.”

D.J. La Vaque thanks the athletes mentioned for their sense of humor and welcomes comments in the tunnel after games.