Hundreds of kids stand around not knowing where to put hands

What: Beck with MGMT Where: Roy Wilkins Auditorium When: Sept. 30 Since the releases of âÄúStereopathetic Soul ManureâÄù and âÄúMellowgoldâÄù in 1994 , Beck has been anything but mediocre. He is a musician famous for being awesome all the time, 24/7 âÄî until he dies or the sun explodes. So why was the concert at Roy Wilkins last week so unspectacular? What really happened at Roy Wilkins Tuesday night? Has Beck been replaced with a slightly less animated âÄî but still super cool âÄî robot? Or is Roy Wilkins a vampiric venue that can suck the fun out of any show? ItâÄôs time to get to the bottom of this and figure out what really went down on Sept. 30. The chaotic implosion of boredom and mediocrity that was the Beck concert was, above all else, sad. Like an unsatisfying lover, the question now becomes âÄúWas it our fault or his?âÄù This query may be unanswerable, but oh well, letâÄôs try anyway. 1. The show cost way too much. $37.50 plus Ticketmaster bullcrap. This less-than-perfect price tag for admission surely shied away more than a few Beck fans. More specifically, the dedicated-but-poor demographic, arguably the most fun demographic, could not afford to go. 2. Roy Wilkins is horrible. ItâÄôs where your mom goes and embarrasses herself at Bob Seger, drinking $7 wine coolers till she canâÄôt stand up. Parking is expensive and itâÄôs a huge venue with notoriously awful acoustics. Roy Wilkins ruined BeckâÄôs crowd-pleasing choice to open with âÄúLoser,âÄù by muddling up the distorted grunge sound to the point of exhaustion. The sound team also ruined Beck and his bandâÄôs potentially awesome freestyle beat machine portion of the show by somehow muting out BeckâÄôs vocals. Shameful. 3. St. Paul = Rip-Van-Winkleville. St. Paul closes at like 6 p.m., keeping the hours of a small town credit union. The show was all ages and on a Tuesday. So why have the show in St. Paul at all? The whole town smells like money and Gold Bond Medicated Foot Powder. As a result of snubbing Minneapolis, the show is full of 30-something yuppie parents proud that theyâÄôre still âÄúwith it,âÄù and their adolescent children who only came for MGMT. The handful of regular fans were marginalized and alienated. 4. Beck was acting weird and the atmosphere was awful. No one was dancing, no one was doing anything really, and Beck was being odd; he wasnâÄôt talking at all. A concert is give and take. It is, in many ways, a first date. If both parties involved are trying to make it work, oftentimes it will. But the minute things start to get awkward, they can spiral out of control. When Beck was having fun, the crowd was having fun and vice versa. Problem was, for most of the show no one was doing anything. $37.50 tickets + sucktastic Roy Wilkins acoustics + Gold Bond-smellinâÄô 6 p.m.-closing St. Paul + yuppies + $6 beers + little kids everywhere + sad Beck + awkward crowd = crapsplosive concert. So thereâÄôs your answer. Math doesnâÄôt lie.