I have some juicy news to report! As some of you might know, the Mall of America is in the midst of deals to expand its already mega-watt space. One of the ideas that’s pretty much a for-sure is a high-end retail addition. Burberry already signed on, and rumor has it, Versace is next! The design house’s creative director was recently spotted in the mall. vita.mn got confirmation from MOA’s public relations people that it WAS a Versace rep (not that swarthy Donatella, though), but no news on whether boutique plans were finalized.

That got me thinking, especially after I saw someÖ thingÖ waiting for the bus near the alumni center. It was wearing a denim skirt – so short, in fact, you could almost see her vajayjay (I guess the alumni center is near Sally’s, so it makes some sense. But it was noon.) – topped off by an Aero cropped hoddie, dyed-blond hair, and Jesus, Mary and Britney: Uggs.

Now, I understand the effect MTV’s Laguna Beach had on fashion in the Midwest; such a dastardly movement is irrevocable. But realize Laguna premiered in 2004, which means it was 2003 when filming took place. Ouch!

I scanned the Internet and the style bible, Vogue, and came up with some trends for fall, y’all, that are much more flattering than what was seen on that creature near the bus stop.

First, let’s start with colors. For both men and women, gray seems to be the new hot neutral. For guys, if you can make it monochromatic – i.e., all one color – the outfit will rock even more. To spice up your wardrobe even further, purple is the “it” color for girls, whereas with boys, bright emerald is a great accent. After helping with a story for Mpls.St.Paul magazine about the purple trend, I can report it’s a trend that has inundated more than just clothes. Try purple nail polish and home accessories, too. Forget Chocolate Rain – Purple Rain betches!

Next, two retro trends are re-emerging: suspenders and old-school sneakers for guys. Suspenders can be worn in a variety of ways, but my survey of area guys seems to be a cross between one on, the other hanging around the waist; or both hanging off the waist. Per usual, it seems the grubbie biker crowd has heartily flaunted both trends. So guys, when they aren’t getting in the way of your Range Rovers (HA! Try Vespas, at best!), take a quick glance at their outfits.

Back to the girls for a spell: Try anything with faux fur or feathers. A lot of runways for fall/winter included furry handbags and accessories, so if you’re truly daring, try something a bit more exotic than the sherpa on Ö Uggs. If you’re not quite ready for such a step, though, mix textures, like a patent clutch with a brown tweed menswear-inspired blazer, to simplify.

And the final big fashion trend for the cooler months – and it has gotten cooler, no? I was walking around with a scarf Friday night. It was of T-shirt material, but still! I like the 80-degree temperatures this week, though, because it’s a sign of this last style point: color blocks. The vibrant and solid colors, when used in clothing design, emulate the ’80s decade to the Nth degree. Yet, some spots like H&M and American Apparel (on its way to Uptown!) have captured and elevated this style with modern spunk.

Oh, and one last thing! I promised the future Lindsays to say what the hottest drinks are! I will elaborate on this more in the future; but the “it” flavor of the moment, rivaling last year’s pomegranate, is blueberry. Several locales, like downtown’s BANK and Uptown’s Chino Latino, have begun to introduce cocktails with this flavor. Although most of us eat blueberries in muffins, do NOT try blueberry liquor before your 8 a.m. general biology lecture, please.

That’s all! Don’t forget to check out MNfashion Weekend, starting today! A&E beat me to tell you about it, so get the deets in last Thursday’s Daily at MNDaily.com or mnfashion.org.