MINNESOTA NICE?
From The Scarlet Knight: Sup? I’ve noticed that even during the summer months, Network still provides much laughter and mirth during the monotony of 8 a.m. classes. Net: Thanks. The change of summer scenery definitely helps. Now, while the random observations and complaints about life, liberty and the pursuit of a bachelor’s degree are all good, I’ve been pining for a heated and passionate debate or argument. So I’ve taken it upon myself to begin one.
So a buddy of mine and I are bonding over drinks at the Big Spend one night, and he starts talking about this girl he randomly met through the personal pages. Really cool girl, he says. In fact, he was surprised that she put out a personal ad. Net: Are you insinuating that there’s a STIGMA to personal ads? How do you think all of us met — the Psychic Friends Network? But she was a grad student. Net: That explains everything.
The only people she could meet were those in her own department and from out of state. And so she got frustrated and put out the personal ad. I myself hail from the great state of New Jersey. (We call it soda.) Net: It’s POP, dammit! Let the debate begin!
Since that discussion I’ve noticed that the majority of my own friends are from outside of Minnesota. I’ve discussed this issue with my buddy and with other friends (who are from everywhere from Wisconsin to California) and have come to the conclusion that it’s just hard to meet people in Minneapolis. Why? Cause the majority (not all) of Minnesotans, especially those from the Cities are just cliquey and not as friendly or accepting. I came to Minneapolis thinking “Wow, these people are all laid back and polite.” I’ve since then seen that (most) Minnesotans are merely passive aggressive and tolerant. Net: Damn. We thought a spirited soda vs. pop debate would begin, but YOU want to whine about how enclosed Minnesotans are. Didn’t you read all about this in Genny X in the Strib two years ago? (By the way, Genny X was an out-of-stater, and she ain’t here no more, either.)
“Minnesota Nice” simply isn’t. It’s the biggest oxymoron since “Packer dynasty.” People are much more friendly in New York, Jersey, Philly, DC, Atlanta, Bismarck and even Madison and Milwaukee. You betcha. Comments dere anybody?
MAPPED OUT
From Mapgirl: Dear Network, You are so great! I read you everyday and you keep me awake in organic!! Net: We strive to be better than coffee.
Anyway, here’s my prob. At least twice a week someone stops me and asks directions. I’ve even had a few people pull over, get out of their cars, and run after me for directions! Do I look like a walking-talking map? Net: Send us a picture and we’ll let all of our readers decide. We print snapshots, by the way.
You’d think I was a tour guide or something! I never wear maroon polos, I swear!!! (Sorry, I know you hate the overuse of punctuation!) Net: (((((((((Sometimes.)))))))))
If I had a nickel for every time I have been stopped I would actually have money to pay for my over-priced education here! Don’t get me wrong, I always give them directions with a smile, Net: That’s because you’re probably Minnesotan, and through that seemingly sweet smile you’re secretly seething and hoping these foreigners will leave the Fatherland!!! Just a guess. but I guess I’m just worried, is it my karma? Will it ever cease?
Lovingly yours …
SHORT AND SWEET
From Skit: Here’s a public service announcement for Carlson students who use the Undergraduate Computer Lab in L-118:
Please don’t talk to yourselves when you sit next to me.
Thank you.