B-4 (OR, BW-3) WE…

B-4 (OR, BW-3) WE LEAVE YOU
Net: We promised today would be the last day to comment on this week’s BW-3 imbroglio. Here goes:

From Tough Guy: This is to set the record straight concerning BW-3. I am writing this response to this week’s flame in Network concerning BW-3. I am angered as well as amused by all of this, and I would like to set the record straight for once and all.
First of all, I am angered at the fact that some students here, whom I am ashamed to one day be alumni with, have been publicly bad-mouthing BW-3.
I am employed there as a bouncer and bartender in order to pay my bills as well as help feed and clothe my 3-year-old daughter. It is all unfounded, defaming, and absolutely ludicrous slander, and I can’t believe these friggin’ brats submitted this.
Second, I am amused at the fact that people can tell such fictional tales of how their real IDs were confiscated, how they were harassed, how they weren’t drunk when they ran out of money, or how they didn’t get laid.
I have bounced and bartended at BW-3 for four years now, and I have taken hundreds upon hundreds of IDs from literally every state.
Trust me, I have seen it all, heard it all, and done it all. I am the person who took Screwed Over‘s ID because it was fake.
The cop even agreed with me when he ran the number, but she couldn’t tell you because she was so pissed off her $65 fake she got in California was taken that she had to write a lie.
Then you got This Guy, who is only misinformed because there has never been 3.2 beer in BW-3 — but I won’t rip on him because he knows what tipping is. Then there is Roommate Killa, who is whining because I took his fake ID, too. It didn’t even happen the way he said it did, with the second forms of ID and crap. I just plain took it because it was horrible, and two off-duty officers just happened to be standing right there. He even admitted later that it was fake to another cop — and you can ask him because he is in shit over his head right now.
Lastly, there is Fat Boy (this could also be why you are not getting laid) complaining because he can’t get any. Even if all the girls in BW-3 were fat and ugly — which they’re not — perhaps this will help your cause: Anybody can get into BW-3 if they are willing to pay the WHOLE $1 cover charge, and nobody ever has to do a 180 unless they are being stupid. The male to female ratio is fairly even, and last I checked there was nothing wrong with tight clothes.
So to everybody who is 21, come on down to BW-3 because it is good food, good times, and yes, sometimes a lay. And to those of you who aren’t 21, have a fake, and want to keep it — don’t give it to me.

From Ing-Strum: I am writing to shed some light on the recent entry from Fat Boy, for I am a close “friend” of his. It appears that Fat Boy totally missed the argument taking place about BW-3. He turned a fun-loving debate about a confiscated fake ID into an all-out attack on the establishment and its clientele.
As Fat Boy spewed stereotypes and associated himself with one of the greatest television soundtrack lines of all time, he failed to make any point. He rambles on for a few paragraphs, casually insulting everyone from women to underclassmen, and then finishes his letter by pleading for students to boycott BW-3.
In response to his “real men find a way to drink” and “bite the pillow” comments — I will merely point out that Fat Boy is associated with the greeks, and allow his ignorance to speak for itself.
As you suggested, Network, Fat Boy does live up to his name — a name I assigned to him after watching him consume can after can of Hormel Chili. He is a man of great dimensions, but not necessarily a great mind.
In closing, I just want to say that Fat Boy should lay off BW-3. When I was an underclassman, I frequented the bar, often with him, and met countless people with whom I am still friends today. If some underage drinking was involved, so be it — people need to learn how to act in a bar sometime, and BW-3 is as good a place as any.

From Y Jack II: This is a bit late, but I was recovering from a Tuesday night of beer and wild wings to respond to the audacity of these little teenie boppers.
Get off it, you people. Remember Sparky’s!! What a great place that was to pick up 17-year-olds.
The police pulled up there with two school buses, filled them with pitiful little kids and carted them all away. Then there was the Gopher Hole, which we all know was the best thing to happen to that pit, Lower Landing or not.
I don’t blame BW-3 for caution, or even an error or two. Fat Boy, please. Do you really ever go to BW-3 or are you just chastising it from afar? You know, Brother Jed is always looking for converts. I don’t see the meat market that you portray so poorly in your little diatribe.
I have been going there for three years now. I will continue to go to BW-3 and bring all my friends. They and I have enjoyed it for years, and we will for years to come.

From This Guy: Santino is apparently the first member of the mob to have non-consensual sex with Al Pacino’s golden retriever. One thing becomes apparent on reading her angry little reply: She isn’t a tipped employee!!! Obviously she is a buffalo wing cook, a job that requires no teeth and looks down upon eyelashes.
If you were a tipped employee, you would know that people who drink the fine beers (once again, Guinness, Bass, Harp, Blackthorne, Red Hook, Sierra Nevada, Anchor Steam, Samuel Adams) TIP!!! People who drink the aforementioned beetle urine merely drop quarters on the floor as they try to adjust their white baseball caps.
Do not attempt to invoke the fine beers, Santino, as you will be smote down for your insolence, and laughed at for your job.
Oh, and sorry, I’ve never been to BW-3. Net: Well, maybe you should. After careful consideration of the views presented, we’ve made the Omniscient Net Judgment that, after all, BW-3 is OK. So drop on by this evening and hoist a few — tell ’em that NITWIT sent you.