JESSE’S WORLD
Net: In the aftermath of Jesse Ventura’s election as governor of Minnesota, many of you felt a need to share your feelings with us. Today we print a selection of your hopes, your fears, your musings. It promises to be an interesting four years. Stay tuned, U!

From Adder: Today is truly a dark day for the future of Minnesota. Not only have we elected a moron for a governor, but we have subjected ourselves to a never-ending stream of worthless political commentary babble.
What does Ventura’s election say about Minnesota politics? Contrary to popular opinion, it says nothing about any of the three major parties. It says nothing other than Minnesotans, like all other Americans, are shallow, simple-minded, gullible and not in the least interested in the issues or the future.
But on a much lighter note, has anyone else noticed that we have elected a governor who never graduated from college but who was trained as a Navy SEAL? That means we probably have the least educated and most deadly governor in the nation. What a frightening thought. But at least it should come in handy on a trade mission to Asia.

From Buzz: As some friends and I were sitting at a bar talking about Governor Body, a woman walked up and said the most concise statement about the election I’ve heard to date. “Well,” she said, “At least we don’t have to talk about the weather anymore.”

From Bixter: Just when I thought Minnesota might be getting a little respect again after the long “you betcha” fad sprung by “Fargo,” a bunch of drunken college students go and elect Jesse Ventura as the man who governs our entire state!
I have lived here all 19 years of my life, but Iowa is starting to look good right now. I do not see how anyone, let alone the college community, could cast a vote for Ventura.
First off, did you actually read the few things he spoke about? He wants to cut all forms of financial aid! Let me see if I can put it a way you can understand. You know that money that magically appears in your STARS account? Big Bad Jesse wants to stop that. He says if you’re smart enough to go to college you’re smart enough to get a job. That statement is true. But I don’t think working full time makes for the best of studying habits.
I wish that there was another question on the polls last night. After you marked Jesse Ventura you should have been asked, “Did you vote for this man because you like his politics and plans for Minnesota or because he’s Jesse Ventura, star of Predator and former WWF wrestler?” OK, I’m asking that question now. Frat boys, tell me what you think of Jesse and why.

From The Eye: I have been reading the letters in your column for a while now and have never had the desire to write anything to you. Tonight though, as I watched the election results come out I thought I would send over some of the quotes I found interesting from this evening. They are from news reporters, commentators, political analysts and even Jesse “The Body” himself. Enjoy.
“Houston, we have a problem.”
Videotape of a guy with “Jesse” shaved into his head: “This is an example of the kind of people that are out here.”
“Lots of sighing and furrowed brows tonight.” — Raelin Storey
“What is so gratifying about this is to prove the experts wrong.” — Jesse Ventura
“I guess he did spoil it.” — Colleen Needles
“She has never had interest in politics and now is his running mate.” — speaking of now Lt. Gov.-elect Mae Schunk.
“They voted for Jesse and I asked them why and they said, ‘I don’t know!'” — Sharon Sales Belton.
“Things got very bizarre very quickly.”
“And that is the theme tonight.”
“How are we going to deal with Jesse Ventura as governor if he actually gets it?”
“Who would work better, Republican or Democrat, with him?”
“This guy is gonna be great to write about for the next four years.”
“I’m hopeful that those numbers will change.”
“We’re concerned about it.”
“I think, uh, you know, (pause) he’s a celebrity…”
“Resume: professional wrestler, actor, radio talk show host. Very well qualified for the position as governor.”
“Jesse Ventura is governor of the state of Minnesota. Now what?”
“No kidding. It’s not the kind of coverage any of us wants.”
“I says, ‘Give me the two big boys,'” Jesse Ventura, referring to Coleman and Humphrey.
“I’ve jumped out of an airplane 34 times.” — Jesse, referring to how well prepared he is to become governor.
“Jesse is obviously gonna keep on talking for awhile there.”
“We wasted them with wasted votes.”
“Is Hulk Hogan going to be the secretary of education now?”
“I feel some disdain from people toward Ventura.”
As you can see, I didn’t vote for Ventura. He has been elected as our governor so I guess we have four years to see what he can do. Thank you for letting me vent.

From Matt: I’m sure you want my expert political critique on the election of Jesse Ventura. This could be one of the greatest moments in American history. I’m serious. Though it may appear to be a silly social satire, the election of the Body (I refuse to use quotes) may prove to be one of the best ways to throw the silliness of big business politics wide open. No more cloned politicians marching in their cheesy suits and ties. No more crazy government doublespeak. The election of the Body can basically be summed up by a early ’80s bumper sticker that so buoyantly pleaded: DIE YUPPIE SCUM. So congratulations Jesse and Minnesota. You have regained my approval.

From Lee: I would just like to congratulate my fellow Minnesotans for making our state the first to elect a governor who can so beautifully execute a flying head-scissors!