Costume police

Steps to spare you from a sartorial catastrophe this Halloween.

Sally Hedberg

Not unlike a Facebook page, Halloween offers a template to display individuality âÄî our bodies. Regrettably, as men and women of the University of Minnesota, the sweet benefits of trick-or-treating can no longer be reaped, a sad sacrifice that goes along with age and maturity. Luckily, you can still take part in costumed debauchery.

This is where the problems begin to pile up, for deciding what ghoulish getup to rock is oftentimes a little more trick than treat. Thankfully, our city is rich with retail that can prove to be a Halloween jackpot. A&E has some advice on how to succeed in your last-minute quest for the perfect costume.

First things first: Creativity goes a long way. Gruesome masks and sexy witches are a copout and, quite frankly, theyâÄôre boring. Our age demographic consumes media and popular culture like a motherf*****âÄô monster. So basically, youâÄôre all clearly capable of summoning up something even mildly cool or unique, perhaps from a moving picture or a book. It doesnâÄôt even need to be that outside the box. A Batman or cowboy outfit trumps Freddy Krueger any day. A Mrs. Robinson costume kicks Holly GolightlyâÄôs dainty little ass. ThereâÄôs something perfect for everyone; it just requires a bit of thought.

Once a swell idea has taken root, the task at hand shifts to tracking down the threads themselves. Minneapolis is home to some killer vintage and thrift stores that provide a great place to start. For instance, Rewind in N.E. In addition to the loads of one-of-a-kind clothing, the store boasts an unrivaled selection of accessories, perfect for adding the detailed finesse to your Halloween look. Obviously, price plays a huge role in costume shopping, so a trip to Goodwill or Ragstock is certainly another option.

One place to actively avoid: Halloween superstores. Not only do they seem to be covered in an invisible layer of filmy filth, but also pre-packaged costumes are over-priced and cheaply made. A homemade costume is a double success if some of its individual parts can be worn post-Halloween.

You donâÄôt need to dress slutty to be sexy on Halloween. In fact, itâÄôs nearly as tacky as making your jack-oâÄô-lantern appear to be puking: Just donâÄôt do it. Lingerie is not only expensive, but also uncomfortable and unnecessary. If you canâÄôt shake the urge to add a sensual touch to your costume, go get some fake eyelashes.

When all is said and done, Halloween is sure to be a blast no matter what youâÄôre wearing, doing or drinking. But, if for anything else, the love of a hot new profile pic, take the wardrobe up a notch and own those scary streets.