College Kitchen: Hunger games

May the odds be ever in your flavor.

If an apocalypse occurs, all you need is a can of peaches and some Bisquick powder to make a tasty peach cobbler over a fire.

Ichigo Takikawa

If an apocalypse occurs, all you need is a can of peaches and some Bisquick powder to make a tasty peach cobbler over a fire.

by Lucy Nieboer

Success in the kitchen is often dependent on the luxury of modern day appliances. If these handy tools stop working when the apocalypse comes, the College Kitchen team will have to resort to cooking on campfires with any looted nonperishables available.

When the world ends, you better plan on being the last human standing. Along with the bare necessities, you’ve got to keep you and your inner circle well fed. Even if the Mayans miscalculated and this turns into another Y2K-esque gaffe, these recipes are great for camping.


Can Cobbler

Using the peaches’ metal can to double as a cooking utensil saves on the materials you’ll need to carry with you as you travel from place to place seeking shelter. Using the syrup from the peaches hydrates your desert’s dough without a clean water source. This recipe is doomsday-proof.


1 can peaches

1 cup Bisquick

After opening the can, drain the fruit of all its liquid. Set aside the syrup. Remove a few slices so there’s about an inch of room at the top. Mix together the Bisquick and syrup until it forms a lumpy batter. Pour the mixture over the peaches in the can. Replace the lid and cover with foil. Set on top of coals for about 15 minutes or until the batter gets crusty. Savor the sweetness of your last moments on earth.

If you want to or are able to make these in the oven, leave uncovered and bake for 15 minutes at 350 degrees.


Reuben Soup

When your refrigerator dies on Dec. 21, the meat and cheese will be the first things to spoil. When the sky starts falling and you’re starting to get hungry, don’t get caught without some protein to keep you going until the end. Stock up on summer sausage and Laughing Cow cheese. According to the dairy product’s website, these velvety wedges can stay good in “cool, dry conditions for a limited length of time.”


1 cup roughly chopped summer sausage

1 can sauerkraut

1 cup chopped cabbage

1 can chicken broth

3 Original Creamy Swiss Laughing Cow wedges

In a pot over the fire, heat the chicken broth. After unwrapping the cheese wedges, let them dissolve in the broth. Bring the mixture to a low simmer. Add sausage and sauerkraut. Heat until all ingredients have reached an ideal temperature. Share with your vagabond friends.


Cheesy Potatoes

Spuds can spoil, but when dehydrated and packaged appropriately they’ve got a little more longevity. Prepackaged and processed ingredients are not ideal but neither is the apocalypse. One must make do. This dish uses spicy flavors and cheese to distract from impending doom.


1 cup queso dip

1 package instant scalloped potatoes

1 small can jalapeno peppers

Prepare potatoes as directed. Add cheese and peppers. Stir. Eat huddled under a rock or another large, sturdy object.


As the sea of raging fire descends upon your crappy one-bedroom apartment and you’re eating your last supper with your roommate, remember the culinary prowess you’ve accumulated in the last post-apocalyptic weeks, and go meet your maker with new knowledge and a full stomach.