University officials go crazy, change to ‘mester’ system

Crev Cur

Breaking news: The University is going to once again change its calendar.
The semester system is being replaced, according to University officials. Bolstered by the success of the quarter-to-semester transition, the University’s decision-makers were prompted to support the development of a new system, coined “the mester.”
Since the switch to semesters was a smashing hit, officials decided to take it a little further. The 35-week-long term is expected to make the University a cutting-edge school.
The change is planned to take place during summer 2001. Rather than one semester in the fall and another during spring, the “mester” system will last from late August to early June.
Students will need to take eight to ten classes per “mester” in order to graduate on time.
When asked if the new system will lower GPAs and raise insomnia rates, officials responded after many winks and nudges that “students shouldn’t get too swamped with studying, because professors will be asked to lighten the work load.”
The intersession term will also be changed. The term is going to be shortened from three weeks to one week. Classes will run 15 hours a day for five days. Officials recommended that students should consider taking an intersession class. “How can you pass up getting an entire class done in one week?”
When asked if the University’s decision-makers have gone crazy, officials hesitantly said, “um,” and rolled their eyes.
No other information has been released. More news as it develops.

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