Column: I went through my first break up — and I learned something

Rule number one: Know yourself, know your worth

Kathryn Schultz

On the cusp of spring break, my boyfriend of nearly two years revealed he wasn’t sure how he felt about anything anymore —including me.

We had been best friends before we started dating, and we had been side-by-side ever since. Throughout our relationship, we were bound at the hip, and though I made a few meager efforts to create more space between us, we were bad at resisting each other’s company. We were best friends, after all.

Our split made me realize that while it’s important to cultivate personal relationships, it’s just as crucial to develop a satisfying relationship with yourself. There is a careful balance that needs to be struck to feel like a whole person, and no one else can complete you except for yourself.

I understand what he meant about feeling unsure — he has a tendency to surround himself with people at all times. When I fall into that routine, I begin to lose the relationship I have with myself. This feeling leaves me confused and unsettled. It’s tempting to constantly be around others to avoid feeling lonely or afraid, but when I take time to process my thoughts and emotions for myself and cultivate my unique interests, I find that my external relationships become more meaningful and unique.

Especially in college, surrounded by peers who are also exploring and experiencing new things, it’s easy to get caught up in a herd mentality. Don’t forget to save some of the exploring and experiencing all for yourself.