Everybody hates the Princess of Genovia

Shannon Ryan

We’ve all had a nice chuckle or two about Anne Hathaway’s nipples protruding—ah, Anne, your headlights are turned on—and her Gollum-esque, “It came true…” coo to her newly received gold statue. And for most actresses we’d be over the hatred hump and on to scoffing at the ways Lena Dunham tries to be adorkable; but not with Anne. No, Anne’s different. She’s, well, Anne Hathaway, and we hate her.

My God society really does hate her (lol), but the reason for this loathe is truly difficult to pinpoint. The small amount of gathering I’ve done on why she is so abhorrent to women/men is as follows:

-her horse teeth

-her HUGE mouth

-her nipples and their twitter account (lol)

-her natural arrogance

-her dumb jokes

-her stupid haircuts

-she ruined Love and Other Drugs

-she isn’t Jennifer Lawrence

A few quotes:

“I feel like she just stares at herself in the mirror smiling for hours and scaring children.” “Ugh, she’s the worst.” “I knew a girl like her in high school; I hated that girl.”

Ok, so there’s a definite baseline as to why Anne’s never invited to the sleepover, but there really isn’t anything concrete. She doesn’t kick puppies or burn down houses—that we know of—and she is actually a rather good actress; she has a shiny new Oscar to prove that.

What’s the real meat to pick off of these bones, what does she do? Do you think she cast a spell to be America’s darling, but it reversed? Maybe she tried to be popular like Louise in Teen Witch, but she didn’t have a short witch to help her. I don’t know. Will Anne, and her nipples, ever protrude so far as to win our approval, America? It's something worth thinking about.