âÄúThe Hazards of LoveâÄù ARTIST: The Decemberists LABEL: Capitol Records 2.5 out of 5 stars It might be lead singer Colin MeloyâÄôs rolling and rambling voice, the intricate guitar picking set atop power chords or the constant imagery of woodland animals and dead lovers, but no matter what The Decemberists are, the final product always sounds like a nautical exploration. The bandâÄôs new album âÄúThe Hazards of LoveâÄù is no exception. The album is epic in many ways, but like âÄúBeowulfâÄù or Baz LuhrmannâÄôs âÄúAustralia,âÄù the album is often overtaken with its own grandeur. All of the tracks are seamlessly hooked together with just a simple key or tempo change, like the rolling of a great barge down the Mississippi hitting a different wake or giant catfish every three or four minutes. The albumâÄôs sloping sound, along with the opening track that starts out with an entire minute of almost absolute silence, often leaves the listener unsure when one song ends and the next begins, sometimes wondering âÄúWill it ever end?âÄù Each song is a slow-moving journey where MeloyâÄôs voice paints an intricate portrait of some picturesque landscape and continues on to fret about one existential problem or another. The albumâÄôs title track, âÄúThe Hazards of Love 1 (The Prettiest Whistles Won’t Wrestle the Thistles Undone),âÄù takes place in a forest, when his oft-mentioned true love âÄúcame upon a white and wounded fawn/singing, âÄòOh, the hazards of love.âÄô âÄù Each song is well-crafted in its ostentatious lyrics and melodic strumming, but the spot-on finger-picking canâÄôt save the album from mediocrity. The band attempts a few departures from the slow, cannon-like firing of steamship music toward the end of the album with tracks like âÄúThe RakeâÄôs Song,âÄù a story about a widower who murders his three motherless children. The pounding drums and dark lyrics shout, âÄúExpect you think that I should be hunted/but it never really bothers me,âÄù and continues on to detail the murder of each child. While âÄúThe Hazards of LoveâÄù may be a nice album to feature in an epic love story where sailors cross the Atlantic Ocean and struggle with honor, and a lot of natives are shamelessly slaughtered, the final product is exhausting and endless.