Friday Festivals – Aquatennial I don’t understand the thought process behind Aquatennial, a celebration of … water? But it seems to be popular, and lots of quasi-celebrities have passed through its, well, waves(?) in the past. Tonight, celebrate the 32nd anniversary of the block party with the Labor Neighborhood Block Party, right on Nicollet. It’s free, and yes, a quasi-famous ’90s band will play. This time it’s the Gin Blossoms! If you like songs that sound vaguely the same, perfect! Downtown MPLS July 17-25 free Music-Deep Blues Festival The organizers of this event spared nothing in putting it together; there are 74 acts on the bill! Granted, it is a festival, and if you attend, you’ll see all sorts of facets of blues music: the punky type, dirty swampy blues, ’20s-influenced blues from Davina and the Vagabonds, and tons of others from Mississippi to Sweden. Since blues is a primarily American style, this would have been perfect for the July 4 weekend, but if blues is your thing (and obscure bands are your favorite way to prove your coolness) then the Deep Blues Festival is your ticket for the weekend. The Cabooze 917 Cedar Ave. S. $100 for festival pass, $20-50 daily, free on Sunday Music-Keb’mo What a bluesy weekend! Keb’mo did the soundtrack for Scorses’s “The Blues” miniseries and he’s the latest musician to be added to the MN Zoo summer concert series – he’s been there five times. The bluesman portrayed legend Robert Johnson and Johnson’s influence is deeply felt in Keb’mo’s repertoire. If someone’s just broken your heart, or if you’re just feeling, well, the blues, go. MN Zoo Weesner Amphitheater 13000 Zoo Blvd., Apple Valley 7:30 p.m., $39 Art-Sin & Salvation: William Holman Hunt & the Pre-Raphaelite Vision This exhibit has been going on for awhile, and runs through the beginning of Sep. I like art that is of something, not spraypainted urinals or giant red canvasses, so the MIA is more my speed. William Holman Hunt was a perfectionist during his career (1827-1910) so he didn’t produce much, but what he did produce brings new light to the relationship between the men and women, religion, and even science, all things popular in the Victorian era. Plus, it’s pretty to look at. MIA Target Gallery 2400 3rd Ave. S. tickets $8 Restaurant-tours – Hell’s Kitchen If you go for the peanut butter, you’ve done more than enough. People order it from Japan, and their ham-and-pear sandwich was featured on the Food Network a few years ago. Actually, this may be my favorite restaurant in the Twin Cities. Weekend brunch, where waiters wear their pajamas, is a highlight, and so are their lemon pancakes and cheeky cocktails, like the “Leather Daddy.” It’s the kind of irreverent restaurant that intellectual folks adore, but the food is created by celebrated chefs, too. Trust me: try the peanut butter. 80 9th St. S 6:30 a.m. – 10 p.m. Saturday Festivals – Aquatennial When you have a festival celebrating water, you may as well ski on it. Water skiing isn’t my thing, but a select few folks can really get acrobatic skidding behind a boat. Wouldn’t you think the river would be gross to fall into? Anyway, the River Rats are doing free shows basically all day. I’ll bet they’re sore in the morning. Twin Cities River Rats Water Ski Show 3 – 8 p.m., free near 17th Ave. on West River Parkway, Mississippi River Speakers – Nathan Rabin Mr. Rabin, says Citypages, is the only Onion scribe who writes truth. That’s true, since he’s the head of the AV Club. Now he can add memoirist to his list of occupations, with the publication of The Big Rewind, his “last night a TV saved my life” memoir about a troubled kiddyhood and how all sorts of pop culture products contributed to his life now. He’ll read and sign at Magers & Quinn. Magers & Quinn 3038 Hennepin Ave. S. 7 p.m., free Sexy Parties – Bondage a-Go-Go Sometimes we get tired of advocating the same old Turf Club shows and art gallery openings, so here’s something completely different: BONDAGE NIGHT. I’d heard rumors that Ground Zero, right near Surdyk’s in Northeast, was a bondage club once in awhile, and those rumors turned out to be true! Besides being a night celebrating bondage, dominatrices, and even hot wax, there’s dancing too. Expect lots of Marilyn Manson, Rammstein, and NIN. Leather makes a funny noise when you dance. Ground Zero 15th 4th St. N.E. every Saturday, 10 p.m. $6 Contests – ONE MAN MINNEAPOLIS Mayor Rybak proclaimed July 18th One Man Minneapolis day, so you know it’s a big deal. And the fact that the mayor’s going to be there is just the icing on the cake, as 20 metro residents compete to be crowned One Man Minneapolis – the best of the best in our fair city. So, 20 goodlooking, good-doing men, one hot mayor, some music, and then parties afterwards? Count me in, please. Pantages Theatre 710 Hennepin Ave. 8 p.m. $29 general admission Fun Things – Host a July party Since there’s not a whole lot to do this weekend, with the exception of ogling hot men at One Man Minneapolis, why not have your friends over to celebrate the heat, the middle of July, the fact that it’s summer, whatever. Courtesy of my friends over at InStyle magazine, here’s a recipe for Strawberry-Basil Lemonade punch, which I’ll be making sans basil for my next shindig. Make it a day or two before so the strawberries release their sweetness. (Even better if they’re fresh strawberries from the berry farm by Champlin.) 1 can frozen lemonade 2 packages frozen strawberries 1 bottle of vodka 2 liters sparkling water fresh basil Sunday Festivals – Aquatennial If you want to sail a milk carton boat like you did in elementary school, you have to pay a fee. If you want to watch, well, that’s free. As trite as it sounds, the milk carton race is a big deal and one of the most beloved parts of Aquatennial, now in its 70th year. There are several factions of the race, depending on age, so if you don’t want to see kids crying in defeat, skip the Lieutenant’s Race for the Commodore’s, which is more suited to our age group. Milk Carton Boat Races Lake Calhoun, Thomas Beach 10 a.m. – 4 p.m. Festivals – Aquatennial This year, the Strib partnered with Clean City Minneapolis to make the Beach Bash waste-free. Yay, environmentally-conscious newspapers! Hopefully it’s nice out for the beach event, which features all sorts of fun-ish beach things, like sandcastle building contests and the boat race. Maybe someone will build the Guthrie in sand! Tip: The beach is going to be busy, so maybe this is the time for you quiet-seekers to find Hidden Beach. Hint: It isn’t that hidden. Star Tribune Beach Bash Lake Calhoun, Thomas Beach 10 a.m. – 4 p.m. Markets – Uptown Market All big cities have plenty of farmer’s markets. Even Fargo has like, three. But markets are fun, and most definitely a Sunday-appropriate trip. Like all markets, the Uptown version has local farmers and small businesses hawking their wares, artists displaying all sorts of things from antique spoon earrings to photo prints and even antique vendors. Furnish your next-year apartment and get fresh raspberries for a lot less than they cost at Rainbow, all in one trip. West 29th St. between Lyndale & Dupont Ave. S. 11 a.m. – 5 p.m. free Festivals – Highland Fest The Twin Cities love festivals, seriously. Not as much as Milwaukee, but they love ’em. How many have we had to date, and it’s only mid-July! St. Paul has Highland Fest this weekend, with everything from free concerts (headliners are The Irresistibles and GB Leighton), belly dancers, fireworks, an art fair, a 5k, and duh, food vendors. There’s no better way to spend a Sunday than having a few drinks and strolling around a mini-festival, people-watching. Which fun time will we have in the city next week? Only time – and the next Culture Compass – will tell. Movies-The Princess Bride Late night movies are great, especially if they’re the timeless tale of Wesley and Princess Buttercup, plus the ragtag gang of Inigo Montoya and Fezik the giant. Much more romantic, and wonderfully quirky, than any chick-flick out right now. (Plus I love the priest with the speech impediment, and the fantasy land that just so happens to house Billy Crystal.) The Riverview shows other such classics (next week it’s Pink Floyd’s “The Wall”) on weekend nights. 3800 42nd Ave. S. 11:30 p.m. $5 Culture to Consume Listen to this:Jack White’s side project/supergroup The Dead Weather has finally released their rather minute, but much talked-about album, “Horehound.” Alison Mosshart of the Kills takes on most of the vocals, and to be completely honest, well, “Horehound” sounds a lot like her other band. Eat this: My friend Jack loves to go out to eat, and lately, he’s been craving the red velvet cake at Salut. And for good reason; the bar/restaurant serves up a huge, cream-cheese laden slice of the Southern favorite, and though it’s chock-full of calories and all sorts of unhealthiness, it’s amazing. Perhaps you shouldn’t go, or you’ll get addicted too. (Locations at 50th & France and Grand Ave.) Drink this: Apparently, according to a commercial I saw yesterday, every Monday one can get a free sample-size mocha McCafe at participating McDonalds. Sure, they might not be as good as the ones at the big-box coffee shillers (and those aren’t always top-notch, anyway) but hey, free coffee! Plus, with the density of McDos around the metro, you could get completely caffeinated for no money at all. Read this: Say what you will about the new look of Newsweek, but their “books” issue (it was on newsstands as a tribute to MJ, though the actual MJ content is scant) from last week was awesome. Not only did they do that “loftier-than-thou books to read” list so popular amongst “literate” magazines, but they talked to some prize-winning authors and spotlighted some great cover art, like Jonathan Safran Foer’s “Everything is Illuminated.” I left the issue with a few new books on my “to read” list, and you might too. Watch this: Well, duh, the only thing anybody is going to be watching this weekend is “Harry Potter & the Half Blood Prince.” Me excluded. However, Becky wrote a great review of the newest addition to the uber-successful, will-it-ever-end franchise, which you can read here. Otherwise, if HP isn’t your thing (I’d only go for Maggie Smith, love her) all the major news outlets keep putting out new semi-juicy Michael Jackson specials, all of which are worth watching if only to get a sliver of important information out of an hour-long program. Then again, if you’re looking for something completely different, this indie movie sendup with Alicia Silverstone and Alanis Morissette might be more your speed. Click this: My Milk Toof is a photographer Inhae’s totally ridiculous, completely adorable project blog, in which two little toy teeth (yes, they are teeth) named Lardee and Ickle go on all sorts of adventures, like taking baths, visiting the seashore, and exploring their apartment. Sounds like a child’s book, and it could be a great one, but the teeth are soooo cuuuute that the photos appeal to big kids, too. When Ickle and Lardee color all over the floor with sidewalk chalk, the only thing you can say is, “Awwwwww.”