Friday Music âÄì West Bank Revival This Friday and Saturday, take time to revisit the bohemian history that has long been a part of the West Bank of our fair city. Five participating venues in the Cedar-Riverside area will play host to musicians, story-tellers and artisans just like it was in the hey-days of the hippest bank on the Mississippi. For a full schedule of the weekend check out the Front Porch SitterâÄôs website. Acadia Café âÄì 329 Cedar Ave. S. Nomad World Pub âÄì 501 Cedar Ave. S. Red Sea âÄì 320 Cedar Ave. S. The Bedlam Theatre âÄì 1501 6th Street S. West Bank Social Center âÄì 501 Cedar Ave. S. Friday 4 p.m.-10:30 p.m., Saturday 2 p.m. âÄì 10:30 p.m. $5/day Fashion âÄì Victims and Assailants: A Gore-Fest of Fashion and Horror Just as Target takes down its back to school displays to make way for the smiling pumpkins and mischievous witches that inevitably take their place this time of year, Ground Zero celebrates the change of seasons in their own way. Rock and Roll Whores and Harsh Reality will scream down on dark hordes of grotesque and sexy youth dancing in this glamorous gothic bash. That is, if their evil intentions are carried out in full. The Gore-Fest will also feature goth dispensary tables and displays in the latest fashions of gas-masks and latex for those fashion conscious H1N1 combatants. Ground Zero Nightclub 15 4th St. N.E. 9 p.m. $10/18+, $8/21+ Art – The Autumn Art-Quinox Oh Grain Belt, how you light up the Minneapolis skyline and the insides of my belly with your sweet light. How many good things have come from the euphoria its nectar provides those who drink? Too many to count. And how fitting it is that the old bottling house has become studio space for artists who find creativity in their own way. The space opens this weekend to the public to peruse the gallery showings, dance, listen to some music, watch some movies and have a good time. Grain Belt will most likely be on hand. Grain Belt Bottling House 79 13th St. N.E. 6 p.m.- 12 a.m. Free Party âÄì The Breaks Do you find yourself asking not what your Fridays can do for you, but what kung fu you can do for your Fridays? The Suburban World Theatre is hosting its weekly kungfu/hip-hop party with a little break dancing mixed in that is sure to satiate your creatively violent side. The night will feature kung-fu screenings, b-boys and b-girls and a cool spinning hip-hop lounge. Think of it as a Get Yourself High themed party. Suburban World Theatre 3022 Hennepin Ave. S. 9 p.m. $3 Rouge Art âÄì Park(ing) day When you pay for a parking space, what are you really paying for? A place to put your car or really just a short term lease on a potential awesome property location? Some groups, including the organizers of Park(ing) Day 2009, seem to think the latter. Park(ing) Day began in San Francisco as a kind of guerilla urban renewal project and has now migrated to a plethora of cities across the country. To participate just put your quareters in the machine, lay down some sod and hang out in your own personal park for a few hours. Park(ing) Day Various locations 11 a.m. âÄì 3 p.m. Saturday Bike Race âÄì Bikes in Babeland S.E. Minneapolis is now Babeland, no complaints here. So babes itâÄôs time to own these streets, leave your dudes at home with the kids, unlock your fixie and get down to The Soap Factory for an evening of bicycle ruckus. The feminine festivities will feature alley-cat races and a bump around the city. Meet up with your spouse later at the One-on-One bike shop where the group will end the day for a little co-ed party. The Soap Factory 518 2nd St. S.E. 5 p.m. $5 Art âÄì Campus Arts Festival One day your house will be so nice that you wonâÄôt even have to put cardboard over the windows, swat fruit flies or even step over piles of dirty clothes, I promise. When that day comes, you will need to have some nice art in there, right? The Campus Arts Festival is the perfect place to spruce up your house, whatever state it may be in, with art from local artisans. ItâÄôs also much classier than the poster sale. Campus Arts Festival Front Plaza, Coffman Memorial Union 10 a.m. âÄì 4 p.m. Free Fest âÄì MPLS Tattoo Arts Convention Your mom told you not to do it. The Red Cross rep. told you not to do it too. Your lawyer told you not to do it where the judge can see it. Getting a tattoo can be an affront to âÄúthe manâÄù but would you do it for any other reason? Representing over 25 shops from around the area, the Minneapolis Tattoo Arts Convention represents a convergence of tattoo and piercing arts. You can even get a tattoo done at the con by some world class artists. IâÄôd go with the flaming skull. Hyatt Regency Minneapolis 1300 Nicollet Mall 12 p.m. âÄì 12 a.m. $20/day, $40/weekend Performance âÄì The Buddha Prince The Buddha Prince is a âÄúwalking playâÄù that details the life of his holiness the 14th Dalai Lama from his birth in Tibet to his exile in India. Performers and audience members âÄúwalkâÄù through the park as the story progresses, changing locations as well as place of mind. The Buddha Prince performance, currently on tour and recently back from a stint in Central Park in NYC features an array of colorful masks and costumes as well as live performed music. Powderhorn Park 3400 15th Ave. S. 2 p.m. and 5:30 p.m. Free Corn Mazes âÄì SeverâÄôs Corn Maze Be one of the first to try this yearâÄôs corn Maze before all the punk kids start punching holes through it in desperation. The maze, located across from Canterbury Downs in Shakopee can be a real noodle scratcher if you donâÄôt bring your breadcrumbs. ItâÄôs really not all that dangerous because if you get lost, just think that the maze is really constructed out of walls of food! SeverâÄôs Corn Maze 1100 Canterbury Road, Shakopee MN 11 a.m. âÄì 6 p.m. $11 Sunday Bikes âÄì 2009 Minneapolis Bike Tour The summer of bikes is drawing to an end, unless of course you are one of those hard-core persons who bikes through the winter, consuming tubs of Vaseline in the process. Bid farewell with a pleasant tour around the entire Grand Rounds Byway System, which will take riders down along the Mississippi, Minnehaha Creek, Lake of the Isles and more. The price is steep but it goes to the Minneapolis Park and Recreation Board if that makes you feel any better. Parade Field 400 Kenwood Parkway 7 a.m.-3 p.m. $40(!!) Music âÄì Vänsen CD release show Awaken your probable Scandinavian roots and hear Johansson, Marin and Tollroth (the trio that makes up Vänsen) play their nyckelharpa, viola and guitar respectively. ItâÄôs Swedish, so Minnesotan you can almost hear the ancient corn and wheat-fields rustling in the distance. They may not be big around here but in some parts of the world, Vänsen is even bigger than Hansen. They rhyme. Cedar Cultural Center 416 Cedar Ave. S. 7:30 p.m. $18-20 FarmerâÄôs Market âÄì Uptown Market How close is Uptown to becoming a Portland-esque utopia? ThereâÄôs the Greenway, the yuppies, the lakes, the arts, the sidewalk culture and now, thereâÄôs even a gorgeous farmerâÄôs market to boot. According to the marketâÄôs website all the vendors will be local, both established and developing. The market will feature not just greens but also a nice selection of crafts and clothes. One of these days, the envy polarity between us and our N.W. friends is going to switch. Uptown Market West 29th St. between Lyndale and Dupont Ave. 11 a.m. -5 p.m. Free Theater âÄì The Importance of Being Earnest Come and see why Oscar Wilde was the sensation of his time. A hilarious play with something like a Jane Austen plot that is ten times more cheeky âÄì more entertaining too, for that matter. The set is immaculate and the acting is superb. Instead of spending $20 with nachos and pop to go see the new GI Joe movie, why not bump it up a little more and go see some theater? The Guthrie Theater 818 2nd St. S. 7 p.m. $29-50 Dance âÄì Zorongo Dance Theatre Dance dance dance!! And why not learn something too? The newest production from the Zorongo company, âÄúRetratos, âÄú meaning âÄúpicturesâÄù in Spanish, looks at the experiences of four different women from very different parts of the world. Rumpus aside, the performance will also feature the vocal stylings of Feliz de Lola and guitar by Pedro Cortes in a seductively international blend. The Ritz Theater 345 13th Ave. N.E. 7 p.m. $25 Culture to consume: Eat This: Saturday marks the end of the lunar month-long observance of Ramadan for many Muslims across the Twin Cities and what better way to celebrate than a nice Sunday feast? ItâÄôs time again to wake up as late as you damn well please this weekend and hit up the Food Fair Buffet at the Bombay Bistro on Marquette Ave. It features a nice selection of bomb-diggity Indian food including a decent vegetarian option. The buffet runs until 3 but you should be up again umshahakllah. Drink This: Black tea or white tea? Sometimes it is tough to make up oneâÄôs mind. But before you settle for that Arnie Palmer or southern style sweet tea instead, why not try the newest thing from Arizona Teas to be stocked at The House of Hanson? Black AND White tea! ThatâÄôs right, the bitter darkness of black and the lightness of white tea all in one tall can. ItâÄôs a yin/yang balancer that goes down smooth too. Watch This: TED started in 1984 as a group intent on bring the smartest and most interesting people together to give lectures on three topics: Technology, entertainment and design. The lectures were designed to be accessible by everyone and now with the advent of this internet thing, their vision has become more realized than ever. TEDâÄôs vast collection of lectures is now online in an easy-to-search, categorized cache of video. ItâÄôs like YouTube that makes you smarter. Check out Sir Ken RobinsonâÄôs poigniant and cheeky talk on how schools kill creativity, one of the siteâÄôs most popular. Cool. Listen to This: The first few days after moving into the dorm, when the room is still clean, your future is still bright and your heart is still pure and you are so trying to be cool, do what other people do and pop in that free CD Radio K gave you. In case you didnâÄôt get it, go to the SoundTrax target=blank> website and enter the code PaYuHNsk (case sensitive) to download your very own copy. You donâÄôt even have to use the hub! (Go ask your CA what the hub is right now if you donâÄôt know.) Prepare to have this eclectic disc remind you of your future disillusionment for many years down the road, itâÄôs that good. Read This: Pearl S. Buck writes in prose of rich simplicity free of pretentions and unnecessary frills. It was a skill that helped her become the first American woman to win a Nobel Prize in Literature in 1938. The Good Earth, for which she also won the Pulitzer Prize, tells the story of a simple farmer Wang Lung rising through the social ranks of a changing China. ItâÄôs a fantastic book and free for whoever gets to Wilson first, call number PS3503.U198 G6 1944. Click This: Face Bank, Feed it Coins! The newest in Japanese cyborg technology here to replace whatever else you silly Americans use. Say you got an extra Yen sitting around that you want to put away for a rainy day, simply wave it in front of the Face Bank and its electronic mouth with start aâÄômunching. Put the coin in and watch as the machine gobbles it down with a satisfying whirr. As the site says, âÄúI bet you feel creepy but feel good at the same time!âÄù