Much of the sex appeal of pop stars comes from our insecurities. We idolize them because their skin is smoother, their breasts are perkier, their six-packs are firmer and they have cellulite-free thighs.
They are Greek gods while we are mere mortals. The more skin they reveal, the sexier they become and the worse we feel – which causes us to buy more magazines with their pictures plastered on the cover.
Because so much of pop relies on the pre-adolescent female demographic, pop stars make sure to say things that present them as model Christians. This way parents, such as Tipper Gore, restrain their complaints and keep the allowance money rolling. Even while down on all fours and chained by the neck like a BDSM enthusiast, pop stars remain innocent virgins deep down inside. So not only are pop stars more beautiful, desirable and seemingly happier than you, they are also more moral human beings.
Before you run out and get plastic surgery though, you might want to direct your ears to Har Mar Superstar and Peaches. These two artists prove sexiness has less to do with physical appearance than confidence and attitude.
Har Mar is chubby, pasty and sports a pencil-thin mustache and an awful thin-on-top mullet. Yet this local boy would have you believe he is God’s gift to women. His last record, “You Can Feel Me,” finds Har Mar irresistible to co-workers on lunch break and able to work his charms on a female cop to escape a traffic ticket.
While Har Mar is on vacation from the Twin Cities, Peaches – Har Mar’s female counterpart – rolls into town. Peaches is flat-chested with a boyish face. She makes it evident that she does not shave her bikini line. But her command over her sexuality (“I like the innocent type, deer in the headlights, rocking me all night”) makes her impossible to refuse.
Along with her electroclash and booming bass that pulsates to the rhythm of intercourse, Peaches brashly lets you know exactly what she has in mind. Christina Aguilera might think she’s pretty nasty these days, but she’s nothing compared to Peaches, with songs like “Fuck the Pain Away,” which opens with “Sucking on my titties like you wanted me.”
Peaches’ albums, especially her latest, “Fatherfucker,” come off as jokes, as they should. Her humor is dirty and raunchy but also sharp and witty. Who knows whether Peaches is actually attempting to spread the good word of feminists who love sex, but it’s refreshing compared to the confusing and impossible to achieve virgin/whore scenarios.
Both Har Mar Superstar and Peaches make you realize, whatever your physical flaws may be, being a sexy vamp is not out of reach. Anyone could potentially be a sex-addicted rock star.
