It’s never easy coming back from vacation, I’ll admit that. I don’t know how your break went, but I spent most of mine thinking of new foods I could cook in oil and daydreaming about the new rock star lifestyle I’ll need to assume as soon as I learn how to play the tambourine I got for Christmas. I could have done what the hundreds of turds in my classes did and backpack around Europe, but do they know how to deep fry broccoli? I think not.

Although it sounds like I’m bitter, I’m really not. Like a bum, I make do with what I have and, considering the fact that I didn’t have two pennies to rub together this December, I’m pretty happy that I even had a trip to Rainbow Foods.

Since the theme of this column is “2 Much Info,” I’ll take the time to say that I would love to backpack through Europe on my daddy’s money. To be honest, I don’t even necessarily care what anyone does over Christmas break. But come the first day of Spring Semester and the mandatory Introduction Circle, there’s always that one person.

You know what I’m talking about. The back-to-school bragging phenomenon is as prevalent at the University as Crayola crayons were in elementary school, and I, along with Britney, am finally “Fed Up.”

I’m happy with giving a first name and perhaps – if it’s your lucky day – explaining my major and/or fascination with handlebar mustaches. I agree with following the “one interesting fact rule” because it covers all the needed basics, but unlike some, I try to play the humble card (it leaves more to the imagination). For instance, yesterday I learned all about my new classmate’s eight-country European vacation, the language her parents spoke and probably her bra size.

Now, I may not be a Rhodes Scholar, but I received straight Bs this past semester, and I dress myself every morning. So, as far as I’m concerned, I’ve earned my degree right there. Is there really a need to prove to the rest of my class that I have a unique personality and the most fascinating life ever lived? I feel that unless a class requires vigorous divulging of personal information solely in order to pass, students should refrain from telling their Intro to Bio class about their diary entries and leave the juicy stuff for Facebook.

I guess what it comes down to is that I didn’t pay $250 per credit in order to listen to a first-year philosophy major spout off about his patched-together theorems, or listen to a sorority girl take up the entire class time talking about her trip to the moon.

I want to know what makes people tick, but not at the expense of my education and patience. I’m all about sharing your life, stories and ideas, but wait until the second day of class. Or even better, go to office hours where you’ll be guaranteed a captive(ated) audience.

Kat Hargreaves welcomes comments at [email protected].