Summer is here, and less class means no more excuses for dressing poorly, fellas. Those athletic shorts with a polo shirt might fly when you have 8 a.m. class plus a job and marching band rehearsal, but summer time is the perfect opportunity to step up your game.
Picture me sitting on a backwards chair and saying, “let’s ‘rap.’” Independence Day is as good of a time as any to kick it up a notch. Just follow these few basic tips to spend the Fourth — and the rest of the summer — in style.
Irony is out
You’ve probably already been invited to a Facebook event called “Barbeque for AMURICA” or something. You know, the kind of Fourth of July party where everyone dresses up like rednecks and ironically yells about how much they love America? Skip it.
There’s a reason why overalls, t-shirts with the sleeves ripped off and American flag vests are considered trashy, and making fun of people who wear them is just as bad.
People who see you and don’t get the joke will just think you’re actually trashy, and people who do get the joke will just think you’re the worst.
Less is more
Instead of going over the top, take a subtler, more flexible approach to your Independence Day outfit.
If you already own a garment with the flag on it, that’s great. If not, don’t bother. I’m as patriotic as the next guy, but unless you intend on wearing the flag reasonably often for the rest of the year, save your money. Instead, I recommend a white and blue nautical striped shirt, a red and white baseball tee, or even a clean white oxford shirt.
For added fun, crack open a bottle (or box) of wine and talk about your favorite American art forms, like jazz, film noir, comic books or hip-hop.
Lose the flip-flops
Sure, they’re convenient, but at what cost? Unless you want to pony up for more expensive leather ones, flip-flops look like garbage after just a few wears. They’re also never very good for your feet, and you can’t run around in them.
Instead, try a pair of plimsoll sneakers. They come cheap and in tons of colors at Ragstock and Urban Outfitters. Like cheapo flip-flops, they’ll only last the summer, but their deterioration won’t be as visible or involve a weird impression of your dirty feet.
Who wears short-shorts?
You do. Men’s shorts have been migrating up the leg for a few years now. These days, you’re going to want something that hits just above the knee. Also, leave your plaid shorts at the golf course; solid colors offer more flexibility and they’ll stay in style longer.
This doesn’t mean your shorts can’t stand out. Try a unique texture like chambray or corduroy to keep things interesting. If you have a pair of jeans that are too short, cut ’em off just below the knee and roll them up to the appropriate length. Note that this doesn’t work well for looser jeans, but a fitted cut-off look will keep you looking good while staying comfortable. And what’s cooler than being cool?
