If you spent all weekend getting ready for Kris Humphries’ 27th birthday, you might have missed this stuff.

Here’s an as-brief-as-possible recap of the weekend:

Two teams played in The Super Bowl, the Giants and the Patriots. The Giants won. Kelly Clarkson sang the national anthem. She won American Idol. Grantland recapped the game without mentioning Clarkson once.

A half-time show happened. M.I.A. put up her middle finger. Madonna was boring. Some other randos showed up too, like Cee-Lo Green. Related: watch M.I.A.’s cool new video, “Bad Girls.”

People who like dogs sat through The Puppy Bowl. It doesn’t matter who won – all competitors will go to Heaven.

A few people made every effort to let you know they were only watching the Super Bowl for the commercials. They could have saved themselves all the trouble and the status updates/tweets by watching all the commercials on Hulu’s ad corner.

In Minneapolis, people (predictably) got drunk and biked around on Saturday for the Stupor Bowl. The Daily’s multimedia department blogged about it.

Jeff Mangum (don’t accidentally say Magnum) played at the State Theatre. A lot of people loved the performance, some writing that it was miraculous.

Similarly, Craig Finn sent a few people into a tizzy, playing at Treehouse Records and then under the not-Friday night lights of the Triple Rock Social Club. Here’s A&E’s review of his latest, Clear Eyes Full Hearts.

A few movies came out: “Chronicle” was among them. Speaking of clear eyes and full hearts and not being able to lose, Michael B. Jordan is in it – you might remember him as Season 4’s new quarterback, Vince Howard.