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Serving the UMN community since 1900

The Minnesota Daily

Serving the UMN community since 1900

The Minnesota Daily

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Optimism is an elixir best served jolly

Sometimes annoying optimism is the best way to get through tragedy.

For some people, the world today may be looking more hopeless with every passing hour. Not for me, though; when I think about how grand this year’s going to be, I feel downright chipper!

The weather’s peachy, the birds are singing dandily and thousands of wide-eyed students are attending classes at the best school on Earth.

I mean this school, silly – University of Minnesota. Gee whiz.

As I was saying, there are all sorts of nifty reasons why this year proves to be the cat’s pajamas. Our football team, for one, is totally neato. All the gals on campus probably think Bryan Cupito is one dreamy hunk of a quarterback, but I just care about his keen passing skills, which are sure to make everything far out.

And good gravy, I almost forgot about our happenin’ running back, Laurence Maroney, who is just about the quickest doggone buck on the prairie. I mean, for serious, our football team alone is enough to make this year super-swell.

Yet, there are about a million-trillion other reasons to be happy, and we can’t forget those. For example, I live really close to a soda fountain, so I’m going to take advantage of those groovy phosphates every day and night. Yowsers!

I’ll tell you what else toots my horn – viewing all the hip styles of the local dudettes as they walk to class. Those “capri” pants sure are the bee’s knees, eh? What a gas!

You can bet I’ll look just as dapper. I bought a new comb and I’m ready to “chill” with the East Bank greasers. I know exactly what you’re thinking Ö that Koehler boy will be the hottest pepper on campus.

Shucks, now I’m getting red as a pepper thinking about that hypothetical comment I pretended you said. Zoinks!

I better hop back on the train before I forget, though. There are plenty more reasons these next two semesters will make you want to twist and shout.

Think of the upcoming winter and the beautiful fluffy snow that the angels send for us. I can’t wait to make a big chubby snowman with a tubular grin and a festive scarf. Caroling is always a noble thrill, as my shrill soprano voice puts a smile on my listeners’ peaceful faces (and sometimes a frown when I kick down their door and force them to hear the joy of God).

Anyway, I don’t want to think about the briskness of winter when there’s the cool weather of late summer and fall to bask in now. Whether it’s an adventure in the woods with the local Boy Scouts or an outdoor judo match, I’m prepared to start this year with a swell attitude.

When the overstimulating joy of school ceases, and I graduate in spring, I expect my life to flip upside down. You see, I’m planning on my enormous school “high” to turn into Ö an even bigger, brain-busting high! That’s right, folks – I cannot wait until I get to experience the chic responsibilities of a working college grad. Garsh, I think I’m going to faint just thinking about all the gnarly, grief-free goodness life has to offer.

Sometimes forced, annoying optimism is the best way to get through the human experience. It certainly works for me (when I’m not curled up in a cold bathtub cursing the daylight)! Hooray for everything!

Mat Koehler welcomes comments at [email protected].

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