How ho are you?

Top Ten Ho Symptoms:
10. You think the Jerry Springer Show is a biographical mini-series.
9. You regularly lose track of the keys to your handcuffs.
8. You’ve got go-go boots.
7. You reek of Designer Imposter body sprays.
6. You think Mariah Carey is a goddess.
5. You need an acetylene torch and Brillo pads soaked in battery acid to take off your makeup.
4. You wear pleather.
3. You sleep in purple fake satin sheets.
2. Your nicknames are Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears.
1. You regularly hear: “Girl you look good! Won’t you back that ass up?

— Compiled by Ho-Ho McHonessmm