Gamer Grub: good… or great?

Ryan Bailey

Once in a while, a product comes along that catches my eye. Today I’m reviewing Gamer Grub, which is one such product. According to the official website, Gamer Grub is "Designed for fast action dispensing to curb your hunger and provide performance while gaming — eliminating greasy fingers and keyboard crumbs." It’s scientifically formulated to boost your game with stuff like choline and L-Glutamic Acid, and if you don’t believe that this stuff is good for you, you can check the references listed on the website. All you really need to know about Gamer Grub, though, is written in plain english right on the front of the package:

You read that correctly. Performance Snack. Four flavors are available: Pizza, PB&J, Wasabi, and Chocolate. The flavors used to have names like ‘Action Pizza’ and ‘Sports PB&J,’ but the prefixes later disappeared. Their removal was a smart move on the company’s part, because words like ‘sports’ and ‘action’ might frighten the stereotypical sedentary gamer.

The most unique thing about the product is the packaging. The idea is that while the Grub is made up of little solid bits, you can pour them directly into your mouth as if they constituted a beverage, keeping your fingers free of the powder and goo normally associated with finger-food. You just peel off the top and dump it down your gullet, cement-truck style, for optimum snacking efficiency.

First up on the taste-test checklist: Pizza. Most notable on the ingredients list are Tomato Almonds (probably a nut/tomato hybrid resulting from an expensive and heavily researched biological experiment) and Pizza Cashews (the result of an even stranger and costlier experiment.) One thing that isn’t mentioned on the outside of the package is that these little dudes are resealable, so don’t feel like you have to eat them all at once. The pizza flavor tastes like most other pizza-flavored things, but while unimpressive flavorwise, the fact that I can now drink pizza without the use of a food processor is pretty cool.

Second (and last, unfortunately) in the queue: PB&J. This one has ingredients like Jelly Chips (which, if you consider that ‘chips’ are called ‘crisps’ in the U.K, seems like an oxymoron) and Sweet Bread (hopefully not the same thing as sweetbread.) Some things to note: peanut butter and jelly sandwiches don’t generally get your hands messy, and PB&J Gamer Grub doesn’t mess up your fingers even when poured directly into your hand, so the packaging is pretty useless in this case. While the Grub-ified version of PB&J may offer little advantage in the cleanliness department, it still comes out on top with an awesome flavor. The Jelly Chips are a little weird.

In conclusion: Gamer Grub is tasty, and totally worth it if you’re A. hungry, B. short on time, and C. busy doing something that requires clean hands. It’s pricier than other comparable snacks, though, and is probably best considered a novelty item. If you can find it, it’s worth a try.