Dear Dr. Dat…

Dear Dr. Date,
According to carnal poet George Michael, “Sex is natural, sex is fun, sex is best when it’s one on one.”
True or False? Please explain.
— Need to know

To answer this question we must take a closer look at Mr. Michael’s logic. Popular music has a reputation for putting forth arguments that, despite being sung in a pleasant, innocuous manner, are still wrought with inconsistencies.
A similar brain trust, the Spice Girls, posited the conditional “If you want to get with me, then you’ve got to get with my friends.” At this very moment, the meaning of this is being debated at universities across the country. But we should not discredit Mr. Michael merely on the basis of his profession.
At the heart of the argument is sex, an oft misconstrued notion. While a vast majority of the Earth’s people may experience sex, it can in no way be construed that each experience is the same. Sex is not only what takes place, but what is brought to it by its participants.
While the term sex has for many years meant vaginal intercourse, this penile-centric definition is being redefined by many groups. When two women pleasure each other without the presence of a penis, this is still sex. When two men pleasure each other without the presence of a vagina, this too is still sex.
Mr. Michael makes his strongest points in lines 1 and 2 of his theory, where he eloquently states that sex is natural and, indeed, fun. But he uses these two fundamental truths to support his final, and unfortunately flawed statement.
While sex with one partner is the preferred method of copulation — Janus 113, this does not necessarily make it the “best.” Throughout one’s life, a person’s needs change and what is best for them at 18 may not be so when they are 45.
It should be noted, however, that Mr. Michael was merely trying to spread the message of safe sex to a world that woke up to the AIDS crisis of the mid-1980s. For this his efforts should be lauded. Thoughts in certain academic circles assert that Mr. Michael was simply trying to cash in. These same circles also refer to him as “The Hedgehog.”