Secret Admirers

Dear Joe from Chem 4502 last semester,

You’re either a Chem E or Mat Sci major, but, damn, are you hot. Thanks for the push to go to class. Because of you, I got a good grade in it. You give me hope that there are other hot and smart guys like you in the world.



Girls at 17th Avenue dining hall,

Maybe it’s something in the food, but all of you have got it going on. I’m overwhelmed by such a high concentration of beauty.



Dear guy with the shirt and hat with the word Life on it,

You made my night when I saw you handing out lemons to people on University Avenue, and I was confused when you handed one to me. Sadly, by the time I figured it out, you were long gone. I loved your costume, and you were pretty cute, too.


—A girl who would love to make lemonade with you


Dear guy who played “Fix You” by Coldplay in Coffman today,

You have a great voice — please keep playing. It totally made my day. Also, you are cute.


—Girl who loves Coldplay


Dear kid who stole my laptop,

I will buy you dinner and a computer if you give me mine back. I have a thing for thieves; maybe this could be the start of something new.


—A girl who really needs her files for her portfolio


Dear guy with the puppy in the Floco courtyard,

I must say, your puppy was so incredibly adorable, I didn’t even pay attention to you. But as soon as I looked up, you literally took my breath away. I was so
flustered between the cuteness of the puppy and your absolutely gorgeous face, I didn’t even ask you your name. But don’t worry — I remembered the puppy’s name was Carly. I can only hope to run into you again someday in the courtyard.


—In love with a guy and his puppy



Wearing a suit to present in APEC made my heart flutter, and now I can’t stop staring. Of course, we only seem to make eye contact when I’m slumming it in sweats. I promise I can dress up well.


—I just really love sweats


To the guy in the gladiator costume that saved us from getting mugged in Como on Saturday night,

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. It’s great to see there are still gentlemen out there. I wish we would have had the chance to properly thank you.


—Two girls who feel much safer thanks to your heroics.


Attention all men,

Friday marks the beginning of the magical month of No Shave November. Gentlemen of the University of Minnesota, let’s see those beards.


—A girl who loves a scruffy man