The guys from Dance Band are survivors. They’re not the kind of band with a tour bus full of tiny beds and different varieties of Cheetos; they toured the country in the backseat of a minivan, without windows to block out the cold Midwestern jet stream. In fact, their exploits have made it necessary to use pseudonyms. (Or maybe they simply want to emulate Nancy Drew, Mark Twain, Dear Abby and other famed pseudonyms of yore.) Now that finals are coming up, they agreed to let A&E give them a pop quiz, and invite readers to take a break from their studies to check out their brand of witty, hyper-globalized dance jams.

Favorite new age therapy?

Philanderer: Magnets

Spacebar: Magnets

The Perfect Beat: White Noise (3 Hz)

Chop: Also magnets

Toy you hoarded most as a child?

Philanderer: LEGOs

Spacebar: NES

The Perfect Beat: Any and all things He-Man!

Chop: “Connecting-block” shaped objects.

Prince or Michael Jackson?

Philanderer: In a fight, Michael Jackson. In bed, Prince.

Spacebar: Both, but not within the last 15 years.

The Perfect Beat: That’s like making a kid choose between mom or dad when their parents divorce. In which case, I think Michael would be the mom and Prince would be the dad.

Chop: Prince.

Ever tried dog food?

Philanderer: No. I am a cat food man.

Spacebar: Nope.

The Perfect Beat: Of course. I forgot to tell you I was adopted by a family of wolves as a child.

Chop: Ask the Captain.

Least favorite advertisement?

Philanderer: I try not to pay attention so as not to buy anything.

Spacebar: The “DO” campaign, because it’s a constant reminder that we live in a society where we have to remind people to DO something, anything. The “Got Milk” sh- – is way up there too. But X-Mas is just gearing up …

The Perfect Beat: “There’s only one October” ads for this year’s World Series. Man, those were annoying!

Chop: Two words: Dough Boy.

Is God listening?

Philanderer: Yes. But not in linear time or material space. So no, too.

Spacebar: No, but somethin’s going on and our brains are pretty goddamn small.

The Perfect Beat: We sent him our new album, but he hasn’t gotten back to us. Maybe he doesn’t have a CD player.

Chop: “Before, the World, Jell-O congealed. It took Shape, Taste, and Rhythm. The Rhythm entered through the feet, the belly and the heart. Sometimes, Rhythm entered through the head and was called music. Some escaped Rhythm and became politicians, honchos wagered their neighbor’s blood. Others heard Rhythm and became people.” – Anonymous. Hope that helps.

Big Brother?

Philanderer: I have a big sister. And if you’re talking about the government Ö this fear mongering, money-grubbing, anti-federalist, anti-populist, anti-constitutional oligarchy is just fine by me. Go shopping!

Spacebar: War is Peace.

The Perfect Beat: I’m more of a “Survivor” kinda guy.

Chop: Double-plus good.