Thursday

Swan Lake

Northrop Auditorium

7:30 p.m.

$35-$58

Given the admission price, itâÄôs doubtful many students will be in the audience, save for the most diehard âÄúBlack SwanâÄù fans. However, the Voronezh State Ballet Theatre of Russia sounds regal enough and apt to perform fellow Ruskie TchaikovskyâÄôs signature work. In all, the quasi-steep ticket is theoretically âÄúworth itâÄù to take in some godforsaken culture for once, whatever that means.

Friday

Jay Rosenblatt in retrospect

Walker Art Center

7:30 p.m.

$8 ($6 with valid student ID)

Film artist Jay Rosenblatt creates audiovisual collages that take a viewer on an exploration of the emotional and psychological worlds of human experience. Working exclusively with found footage, RosenblattâÄôs medium lends an unusual levity to what can otherwise be grave subject matter. Rosenblatt will be at the Walker Art Center to introduce a program of his recent works to be followed by a conversation with film/video curator Sheryl Mousley.

Saturday

Minnesota RollerGirls Roller Derby

Roy Wilkins Auditorium

7:30 p.m.

$11-$15

ThereâÄôs something poignant about watching a group of adult women pound out their PMS on a pair of roller skates in a sadistic ritual that, given the outfits, edges on the erotic. ItâÄôs worth my 10 bucks.

CULTURE TO CONSUME

Listen to this: Savage Love podcast

Listening to sex advice columnist Dan Savage call up and directly talk with those soliciting his wisdom has a payoff that canâÄôt be found in reading the printed letters. It is also another source from which Savage draws with his colorful palette of fetishes, kinks and relationship woes the rich world of sex has to offer. Playing the uninvolved third party in the intimate conversations between Savage and his callers is a nice exercise in voyeurism, and thereâÄôs nothing quite like hearing Savage, in his usual candid fashion, bring the emotional smackdown on the pee fetishist with subpar hygiene.

Drink this: Surly Beer

Last Monday MinnesotaâÄôs own Surly Brewing Company kicked off its fifth anniversary celebration, an extended bar tour of sorts, which stretches into March. You can pay your respects by guzzling down this occasional hipster beer of choice that drinks like a Chrome bag in a can.

Eat this:Tim Tam Slam: Tim Tams and hot chocolate

Thanks to Pepperidge Farm, the chocolate Australian biscuit has made a triumphant arrival to the U.S. A Tim Tam is a chocolate-coated, cream-filled, double-layer malted rectangular biscuit, which only the abuse of hyphens can adequately describe, a goliath of a cookie which lulls the mouth along a sensual journey to the gastronomic promised land. A Tim Tam Slam requires the diagonal corners of the cookie to be bitten off in order to fashion a straw through which a steaming mug of hot chocolate is not so timidly sipped. As soon as the beverage hits the lips, the Tim Tam is shoved, whole, atop the tongue where it welcomely collapses like a chocolate Metrodome in your mouth.

Watch this: âÄúBobâÄôs BurgersâÄù

From the creator of âÄúHome MoviesâÄù and âÄúDr. KatzâÄù comes a show chock full of intentionally deadpan awkward pacing and fart jokes. Since its Jan. 9 debut, âÄúBobâÄôs BurgersâÄù has already distinguished itself as comparable to âÄúFamily GuyâÄù because it is also a cartoon with fart jokes. With the talents of H. Jon Benjamin voicing the lead and John Roberts of âÄúChristmas TreeâÄù and âÄúJackie and DebraâÄù YouTube video fame playing his wife, the showâÄôs promising credentials may belie what could be at best a âÄúMission HillâÄù that tries a little too hard. But everyone remembers that show, right?

Read this: âÄúThe Tell-Tale BrainâÄù by V.S. Ramachandran

The name of neuroscientist V.S. Ramachandran may ring a bell because of his invention of the mirror box, a contraption designed to alleviate phantom limb pain in amputees. In his new book, Ramachandran weaves together case studies with his own extensive knowledge of neuroscience to explore the workings of the human brain through its malfunctions. âÄúThe Tell-Tale BrainâÄù indulges in some speculation not entirely grounded with scientific proof, but RamachandranâÄôs pondering on grand subject matter is conveyed with accessible language, and it should be at the very least thought-provoking.