Where Life Meets Style: Styling superstars

I just went to iVillage.com and took a “quiz” on superhero style to see which superhero’s style I most resemble. According to the results, it’s Wonder Woman. That’s right. Wonder. Woman. Who knew? This got me thinking about wonders some women – namely superSTARS rather than superheroes – are doing in the “celebrities turned designers” realm.

The first, and perhaps most accessible to us, is Bitten, SJP’s line conceived for Steve & Barry’s stores. As random of a store choice that is, her collection is even more random; but somehow, in between channeling Carrie and keeping the bigwigs of Steve & Barry’s satisfied, the line rocks. I admire her philosophy of bringing high style to low-priced venues. At least she didn’t whore her name to Wal-Mart like the Olsen twins did. If you want your daughter to look like she’s playing dress-up, send her to Wally world. If you want to appear (surprisingly) chic, swing by Steve & Barry’s to get bit.

Another big success, and my definite favorite, is Gwen Stefani’s L.A.M.B. She knows how to keep things uniquely hers. She’s impossibly stylish on her own, and her wardrobe creativity and tastes translate beautifully to the mass market. While sometimes I think her color palette choices are slightly limited ñ most accessories are black and white, with red, gold or green blends ñ I still think they’re worth every penny, and a pretty one at that: Her handbag and accessory prices rival the prices of paramount names like Louis and Chanel. If you’re truly loaded ñ or truly gold-digging ñ L.A.M.B. is available at Bloomingdale’s and Nordstrom at MOA, or at Meridian boutique in Excelsior.

Those are two shining examples of how multitasking can prove groundbreaking and original, qualities to strive for in each of life’s facets. You’ve all seen that American Express commercial with Beyonce B’donk Knowles traipsing around Madrid looking for that damn boomerang, all while prancing, dancing and breaking her high-heel. Celebrities are busy betches, which brings up House of Dereon, Beyonce’s little concoction to slip in one more line (that probably should’ve been left off) to her resume.

The girl’s got loads of money and loads of behind. Plus, she’s dating Jay-Z, whose clothing line Rocawear is major, and she works with her mom, who designed Destiny’s Child outfits back in the day and now assists with the creative side of House of Dereon. So she’s got the right people, and you’d think it would mean the right product. Not so much. First of all, what EXACTLY is a Dereon? Beyonce names are tragicñ that album “B’day”? WTF? When I first saw an ad for the clothing line, I thought I was looking at some promo for Bratz dolls ñ starring Beyonce, of course. Couture my ass! Let’s just leave it at the fact House of Dereon puts the whore in horrible. WellÖ you know what I mean.

I’m glad I started with the good ones because House of Dereon’s tackiness is rivaled only by this last line: Jennifer Lopez’s JLO. It’s been out for a while Ö and should go away for a while. The first time I ever saw JLO was on NBC’s Today show. I sort of thought it was a spoof ñ like an “OMG, look at those douchey clothes that look like they’re made from Sasquatch’s fur!” I was wrong, and out popped the JLo and an oh-so-fake Katie Couric. That’s when I knew we had trouble. I should’ve known it was far above the class of NBC to poke fun, but that sad day, I was hoping. Please never wear JLO, especially with UGGs. If I ever see that combination, I’m moving to Canada because that ensemble is my equilavent to a military draft reinstatement.

Does this mean you should run out and start a clothing line? No. Don’t do this. Records show the “clothing line for fun” shtick is style suicide and rarely succeeds (cases-in-point above). Besides, you all saw LC’s clothing line. Ö There are no words.

-Aaron Leth welcomes comments at [email protected]