Hey student body, guess what? School starts in FOUR days. Are you ready to take long walks in the slush, face treaturous blizzards, get turned down by five more crushes and, worst of all, read books? You’ve still got time to prepare. Here are a few pointers for the Spring semester.
1. Make the most badass playlist you can think of for crossing the Washington Avenue Bridge.
Crossing the Washington Ave. Bridge is one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my University life. For some, it’s like a giant metal catwalk, perfect for judging passing peers. Don’t succumb to the haters. Instead, crank up the Crime Mob and flaunt what you’ve got. Or just take a bus.
2. When it’s negative-whatever degrees outside, don’t forget to wear pants.
I know fishnets are tempting year round and you simply can’t wait to flaunt your new mini-skirt, but this is a BAD idea. Not bad in the, “Girl, you better cover yourself up” way, but bad in the, “You’re going to lose your legs to frostbite” kind of way. I know I’m guilty too. I just don’t want to see any avoidable amputations this year.
3. Set 15 alarms for the first day of class.
For the past few years, I have slept through my alarm at the beginning of every single semester. Any other day, I hear the sound of obnoxious iPhone church bells and hop out of bed like a dog at dinner time. Evil forces want me to slack off. To combat this, I set anywhere from five to 15 alarms and ensure that my phone is at full volume before falling asleep. Pro tip: Don’t get wasted and pass out the night before school starts. It’s only a four day week, which means Thirsty Thursday is only two days away. Exercise some willpower.
4. At least bring a notebook.
I was prepared as a freshman. I carried a binder with color-coded folders, highlighters, paper clips, numerous pens and a mini-stapler. Now, I’m lucky if I remember to bring my wallet. I’m a fan of the one notebook approach. If you’re not plagued with chronic back pain, super organized slackers should consider purchasing a five-subject notebook. I use a one-subject notebook for all of my classes (I’m picky about which notes are worth taking) and it doubles as a folder!
Wow, so school, much smart.
Good luck, young Gophers.