“Mirror, mirror, on the wall… Where’s the fairest place of all?” the evil witch asked. A mist spewed from the looking glass. She saw her countenance disappear to invite a robust face. “This place of which you speak,” the mirror answered, “is truly enchanted. The men all look like Fabio, and the women are more clueless than Melanie Griffith. It is indeed a tropical paradise. Unlike here, where it will be partly sunny today and Wednesday with highs in the single digits.” “Show me this place!” the witch snapped, her heart fixed on a new land to wreak havoc upon. The mirror grew dark, then a picture slowly focused. “Elmo, drat!” She screamed. “My foe is already one step ahead.”