People don’t call St. Patrick’s Day a Hallmark holiday. People don’t throw anti-Halloween parties. And people don’t go around on Veteran’s Day saying, “Happy Civilians’ Awareness Day.”

I could go on. But you get it, right? Valentine’s Day is the most divisive holiday ever. Hands down.

Lucky for us here in the studio, Valentine’s Day is one of the best holidays for crafting — especially if you have a boo.

But please don’t make a coupon book of sexual favors and chores. Homemade coupon books are only okay if one of the coupons says, “Today, I’ll let you break up with me, no questions asked, because I’m obviously lacking dignity. Commodifying my affections might feel fun and cute, but it’s just a cliché way to say I love you.”

Say “I love you” the right way. With a craft.

A MIXTAPE

Yeehaw! Two methods:

If you are awful:

Type the word “love” into your iTunes search bar and burn the first 13 songs that pop up onto a disc. Your boo will listen to these songs over and over, analyzing their arrangement and every lyric.

If you are awfully in love:

Spend hours assembling the perfect line-up of songs, giving consideration to how long you’ve been together, how you feel in your heart of hearts and how the songs work together sonically. Your boo will listen to this CD once and then forget about it.

A DREAMCATCHER

Giving someone a homemade dreamcatcher is the crafting equivalent of saying, “Sweet dreams.”

Get a circular frame. This frame can be as time-intensive as a tiny wooden beam you bend into shape yourself or as simple as the top of an oatmeal can with the center cut out.

Cover the frame in something beautiful — do you have any suede scraps? I seriously can’t imagine why you would, but try to get some, because they look good.

Make posts at intervals around the circle. These can be tiny nails, if you have them. Thumbtacks work just fine too. Get a long string and tie it to one of the posts. Then bring the string across the circle, tying it to different posts as you go. An alternative to tying your strings around these posts is wrapping them directly onto the circle – but that can get disorganized quickly, and you want a structured web. Don’t worry about making any complicated patterns.

Stringing in a few beads here and there is easy. Just make sure you tie a knot before and after each bead so that it doesn’t slide around. Add a few hanging feathers by tying them to the lower posts. Dream a little dream of how crafty you are.

A PORTRAIT

You can make it of yourself, of your boo, or of y’all together. It’s up to you. Weigh how much you love yourself against how much your boo self-loves.

Try making a portrait out of food. Chocolate eyes. Twizzler lips. Macaroni eyebrows. The whole shebang.

If you don’t want to use glue and food, try a pen or pencil and paper. Drawing might seem hard, but it’s something you can train yourself to do well. There are a few tips to help you knock a sketch out of the park:

Constantly have a photograph to reference while you’re drawing.

Draw a grid over the photograph. Draw a corresponding grid on a larger sheet of paper. Then take it square by square.

Another trick is to flip the photograph upside down. This will help you see it for what it is: rather than focusing on what you think an object should look like, you’ll be able to simply copy a collection of lines and shapes.

Happy mixing, dreaming and drawing, y’all.