When Ellen came out of the closet Wednesday evening, more than 100 University students waited to greet her with cheers and applause.
Many of the students, who gathered in the Willey Hall fireside lounge, had already announced to family and friends that they are homosexual. And another, smaller segment of the audience came to show their support although they haven’t come out.
With Ellen DeGeneres’ sexuality — both as a successful actress and as television character Ellen Morgan — under speculation for months, people have accused ABC of airing the controversial program during Nielsen sweeps week.
But DeGeneres’ decision to come out of the closet has many people in the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender community excited about the visibility her choice brings to issues of sexual orientation.
“What Ellen’s doing is important because if she came out on the job in other workplaces, she could lose her job,” said Beth Zemsky, director for the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Program Office at the University.
United States federal law does not protect homosexuals against discrimination based on their sexual orientation, Zemsky said. She said the law surprises many people, who assume that protection laws are in place at the federal level.
There are no reliable statistics concerning how many people such laws would protect. Zemsky said many homosexuals fear announcing their sexual orientation because they could lose their jobs in most states. Only nine states, including Minnesota, have laws banning discrimination based on sexual orientation.
“My hunch is that every person knows someone who’s gay,” said Zemsky, even if the acquaintance hasn’t come out.
“I think it’s great that it’s someone who’s so likeable,” said Jennifer Kenney, a graduate student at the University. “People have really grown to like her over the past couple of years.”
This is important, Kenney said, “Just because (Ellen) is gay, doesn’t mean there’s something innately wrong with her.”
Zemsky said she hopes people will be able to relate to Ellen.
“When somebody knows … someone who’s gay or a lesbian, they tend to be more in favor of gay and lesbian rights,” she said, “because what they’ve got is a real live person to sympathize with.”
Psychological Issues
Coming out can greatly affect a person’s sense of identity. Brian Campbell, a psychology intern with the University’s Counseling and Consulting Services, said major issues involving one’s homosexuality are often related to a feeling of isolation.
“Gay and lesbian people are usually raised in heterosexual environments. They’re often the only gay person they know, so coming out can be very difficult because they don’t have connections to other gays and lesbians,” he said. “There are no role models. There are no models for dealing with that whole coming-out process. It’s very difficult and very isolating.”
Ellen’s television character could be a role model for people who actually think they are gay, said Anh Pham, a supporter of the gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender student organization.
“It’s very rare that you can grow up with a positive role model,” she said.
Without positive role models, people might face isolation and fear of losing their families, their religions, their senses of community and their senses of identity. To help with some of the difficult issues, the University started a support group to discuss sexual orientation.
The group meets weekly and is made up of those who have come out, those who are trying to come out and those who are not sure if they are homosexual.
It offers a “safe place to come and talk about your issues,” Campbell said. “The whole thing can be very threatening if you don’t have a sense of support.”
“There’s the stigma associated with being a homosexual. It separates you or potentially can separate you from your family or your friends,” he said.
Accompanying this sense of separation can be depression, an illness typical to those who are about to come out, Campbell said.
“When you’re doing that kind of self-exploration, and you’re coming to the realization that you might not be completely straight, that represents a real shift in self-identity which can be scary first of all, but can also lead to depression,” he said.
Kurt, a University student who is not fully open about his homosexuality, said he started suffering from depression when he first explored being open about his sexuality.
“I think once I started coming in (the GLBT office), I started going through a phase of depression of knowing the future, knowing what’s going to happen with the whole thing,” he said.
Kurt said he has always known that he was gay, but said he had a hard time accepting it until recently.
“I just want people to accept me for who I am,” he said. “It doesn’t make me any different if they know (I’m gay) or not. I’m still the same person. I just want people to treat me the same as anyone else. We’re not different from anyone else.”
Re-imagining religion
Accompanying confusion about an individual’s sexuality can be confusion stemming from religious beliefs.
Many religions do not accept worshipers who are not heterosexual. Kurt said one fear that keeps him from being openly gay is that of religion. His religion’s intolerance of homosexuality makes him fear announcing his preference to his parents.
One organization on campus tries to help students cope with these issues. The Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender Faith Advocates Group, coordinated by Dennis Crumb, recently evolved from a Christian-centric organization to one that reaches out to all religions.
One thing that people facing a religious crisis might need to do is re-imagine their religion, Crumb said.
A re-imagined religion is one that would still hold true to the religion’s ideology and values but accepts and affirms each individual’s sexuality.
“If a person is Mormon, and wants to stay Mormon and be gay, it’s not like there’s another Mormon church out there that accepts gay people,” Crumb said. “That person has to make some choices about what they’re going to do. Which is not to say they need to quit being Mormon, but they somehow need to re-imagine it.”
Brad Ollmann, a CLA senior, did not re-imagine his religion, although he has struggled with it occasionally.
“I feel that God has a plan for me and I want to live it out,” he said. “I want to live it God’s way. Since He created everything, He should know what’s best for me. I do believe that He created me gay, and that there’s reasons behind it.”
Many times losing one’s religion is like being betrayed by one’s faith, Crumb said.
“To grow up in a particular faith is to imply that you’ve grown up in a particular community, surrounded by a particular group of people, and suddenly you’re told that this is not OK,” he said.
In addition, conversion to another religion is not a viable option for some people. “There are people in support groups from my own faith,” Kurt said. “I don’t think I could (convert). That would be a major uprooting.Who I am is based mainly on my religion, but unfortunately they don’t accept that.”
Community connections
But people sometimes lose more than their religion when coming out of the closet, Campbell said.
“It’s not just church community, it’s any kind of community that they’re involved with,” Campbell said. “Their family is a community, their extended family is a community, and if they have a homophobic family that’s not going to accept them if they come out, then that’s a possible loss if they do come out publicly to their family.”
Kurt said coming out to his parents is something that eventually he’ll have to do.
“I think it’s important for people to know, especially coming from my religious background,” he said. “I get harassed a lot by my parents about when I’m going to get married. In order for me to live peacefully, they’ll have to know eventually. Hopefully they’ll be prepared by then.”
Brett Strangstalien, a freshman in the College of Liberal Arts, has been out of the closet for about two years but said telling his father was the most difficult.
Strangstalien said he told his father about one month ago that he was gay.
“I was hoping he would ask me about it, because he has every right to know,” Strangstalien said.
When the question never came up, Strangstalien said he mailed his father a letter, including some myths and truths about homosexuality. Four days later his father called him on the telephone.
“He really shocked me,” Strangstalien said. “He was like, ‘You have to do what you need to. You can’t live your life making other people happy.’ It made me really proud of him, because I’d always underestimated him.”
Megan Thomas, office coordinator for the GLBT student organization, said people used to ask her if she was a lesbian for years before she came out.
Like Ellen, Thomas didn’t realize she was a lesbian for a long time. Afterward, she said, she had to look back and say, “Yeah, you were right.”
Building a network
Thomas said she started coming out by telling her closest friends who she was 99 percent sure would support her, she said. Then slowly she started telling friends of whom she was less sure. That way, she said, she could rely on her other friends to support her, which was especially helpful when it came time to tell her parents.
Campbell said the University’s counseling group might be able to help students who aren’t sure if they are ready to come out to family members. The group can also help those who are unsure of their sexuality.
“They can come (to the weekly support group), they can ask some scary questions, they can do some explorations that they ordinarily wouldn’t do, because it’s either too threatening or the people they talk to wouldn’t understand,” he said.
Ollmann said the hardest part was to admit he was a homosexual to himself.
“It’s sort of a process,” he said. “You start off saying the words ‘I am gay,’ even though you’ve known you were gay for a long time. It’s one thing to know; it’s another thing to say.”
However, he has no reason to hide his homosexuality, he said.
“Why should I be ashamed of who I am? It’s none of my business what other people think of me.”