“The New York Times” is the most reputable news source in America.  Other newspapers can’t match their veracity and breadth of reporting.  They give attention to stories and ideas that wouldn’t fly in the rest of our country.

I was disappointed, then, to see the Times’ recent “Thanksgiving Recipes Across the United States” article.  The piece featured “traditional” Thanksgiving dishes from each of the 50 states, and Minnesota’s dish was none other than grape salad.

Number one: what the fuck is grape salad?  I know the Midwest’s significant podunk elements make us the joke of the nation (second only to the South), but I’d like to think of Minnesota as enlightened in comparison to its geographical compatriots.  Just because we have a tendency to experiment with weird fruit salads and molds (such) doesn’t mean we eat ersatz, inedible grape concoctions.  The fruit fluff we’re better known for is less heinous than this “heritage recipe.”

Number two: why didn’t the Times cover one of our many casseroles?  Surely, tuna or green bean casserole is more befit a Thanksgiving meal than an outre fruit salad.  They’re also more representative of what Midwestern folk eat during the holidays and cold months.  At the very least, they could’ve given us wild rice, which ended up as Wisconsin’s recipe.

The Times should take the time to research traditional foods of the Midwest before portraying us as a bunch of weirdos (even if most of us outside the urban core are).  Their utter dismissal of the Midwest as a culinary wasteland demonstrates veiled classism and geographical discrimination.  David Carr (resident Minnesotan at the New York Times), what do you have to say?

(In a Facebook post, Carr said this): "Grape. Salad. Grape Salad! May a hail of tater tots mercilessly bury you. Where do I start the petition? I ask you fellow Minnesotans, grab your lanterns and pitchforks and let's make them put those grapes, um, well, that wouldn't be Minnesota nice, would it?"