Chocolates? Flowers? Teddy Bears? Thank u, next. If you’re all about a cliche Valentine’s Day, stop reading this. 

If you want to actually enjoy Valentine’s Day — with or without a significant other — A&E has put together a guide to the most adrenaline-inducing, frenzy-filled go-to activities near campus on Thursday.

“Valentine’s Day DJ Night“

Crush on walls on Thursday at Minneapolis Bouldering Project. The bouldering gym will offer a stellar deal on climbing throughout the night — bring someone to hang with between attempts. The night will feature a live DJ, food trucks, sweet lights and a dog-kissing booth (we don’t know what that means either), so there won’t be time for awkward silence. Get pumped, crush and ‘scend — the only teddy bears here will be the dogs. 

Where: Minneapolis Bouldering Project, 1433 W. River Rd. N., Minneapolis

When: 5 to 11 p.m.

Cost: $5

Sledding!

Yes, seriously. Sledding may be a forgotten activity of winters past — we’re here to change that. With the pow we’ve been hit with this winter, a trip to any hill around the metro will make for a stellar time. Unlike with skiing or snowboarding, sledding is completely free and you don’t need any prior skill to shred on the slopes. (Well, that’s what most people say.) Ideal snowy dunes can be found near “Mount Como” aka Como Park Ski Center. Enjoy these runs and warm up with some cozy drinks afterward. Cowabunga, my dudes. 

Where: A hill near you

When: Whenever

Cost: Free

“Fireside Snowshoeing“

Can’t stop, won’t stop! Trudge through the snow and work up a toasty sweat on V-Day night. Hosted by the nearby Kroening Interpretive Center, this event is all about the winter ambience. Located on the Mississippi River, snow and ice will illuminate some beautiful scenery as you grind through the woods with your crew. It’s important to remember winter boots for this one! Snowshoes and hot cocoa are provided, though. 

Where: Kroening Interpretive Center, 4900 N. Mississippi Dr., Minneapolis

When: 7 to 8:30 p.m.

Cost: $7.50

Ages: 18+

Crampon 5K

Crampons are metal spikes that can be strapped onto the sole of any pair of boots. Some use them for mountaineering, but you can use them for a 5K. Head to the University of Minnesota’s Recreation and Wellness Center to rent a pair for the day, then traverse over to the East River Flats. Hiking, jogging or running along the Mississippi is a beautiful way to get steamy exercise. Grab a partner and race along the banks, or simply enjoy a slip-free walk in the University’s backyard. Find the slipperiest of sections and see who can get to the top first — it’s crazy what these bad boys can do. While running an actual 5K probably isn’t the best idea in crampons, the world is your oyster.

Where: Anywhere

When: Whenever

Cost: $5 rental from the RecWell

Your own fry shack

Do you really want to be at a horrifically mediocre and violently generic restaurant on Valentine’s Day? Candles, ill-fitting formal wear and mediocre pasta should not be on your to-do list. Instead, have some fun and make some real food. Grab your go-to protein and vegetables to fry up some goodness on the 14th. Get a pan and put a healthy amount of oil in it (you can interpret that as you will). Then, grab your favorite spice and add it into a flour and baking powder mix. Want it hot and spicy? Add some thai chili pepper flakes and black pepper. Want it slow and melodic? Some lemon zest and cinnamon should do the trick. 

Cost: Varies by ingredient

Workout routine

The gym can be a place of fun, too. Grab a partner and head over to the rec center for an hour or so. Start by stretching and move onto an exercise that uses many muscle groups. Dumbbell bench presses are usually a good call. Then, isolated workouts work well. Back, shoulder or chest — it’s your call, just have fun with it! See how many sets each of you can do (while being safe), and push each other to the limit. Get in some cardio with dumbbell renegade mountain climbers. After these sets, move onto a push up, pull up and burpee compilation. Whoever wins gets to choose the movie!

Movie time

Why are rom-coms a thing on Valentine’s Day? We have no idea. Instead of wasting your time watching a piece of money-grabbing trash, try a real adventure flick. Netflix hosts some great options like “Meru” and “Valley Uprising” to get the adrenaline flowing. If documentaries aren’t your thing, check out “Pulp Fiction,” “The Godfather,” “Scarface” — you get the picture, the classics. Then, head over to Hulu for the best in cartoons. “Rick and Morty,” “Adventure Time,” “The Regular Show,”  they’ve got it all. Last, for some beautiful background noise, check out “Planet Earth” on Netflix.