The series’ title says it all. But for those who need a little more convincing, we’re talking 24 short films to whet your appetite, and two full weeks to catch ’em all. Initiated by German producer Regina Ziegler, directors from some 15 nations around the world were given blank stock and free initiative to make art out of desire. The U Film’s Bell Auditorium hosts the entire series, e pluribus unum, as part of a twelve-city U.S. tour. Films include On Top Down Under, The Summer of My Deflowering and Why Don’t we Do it in the Road? These half-hour shorts show in groups of three, so you’ll get plenty of bang (a-hem) for your buck. Mouse on over to www.ufilm.org for complete schedule, showtimes and a rubber duck named Zoe.

Total Recall

Sat., Oct. 6, 11pm

Heights Theater

Finally, a print that’s big enough for Arnold himself. As part of the Heights Theater’s 70mm bonanza/extravaganza, Total Recall screens one night only in its original 70mm format. Catch Ahhh-nold in his 1990 mind-bending sci-fi flick, and let your eyes delight to the point of satiety on the juicy 70mm stock. While you’re there, pre-treat your senses to a showing of the 1960 Spartacus, also showing in the Seven-O. Half past 7 for Spartacus, 11 on the money for Total Recall. Spartacus runs ’til Thursday.

West Bank Auditorium Grand Opening

Oct. 5 – 6, 7pm

Umm … West Bank Auditorium

In a campus-wide effort to save Bijou Film-goers’ asses from falling asleep, the Twin Cities Student Unions (TCSU) has so courteously spent the summer remodeling the West Bank Auditorium, indeed making the world a better place. Kicking off the grand opening will be free sequential screenings of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and Tampopo. Again, free. Crouching Tiger rolls at 7, with Tampopo immediately to follow. And seeing as your ass won’t be sleeping, you won’t need to get up and stretch, so this whole one-right-after-another thing shouldn’t be a problem. Clever.