Joke of a band fades to black

Metallagher says goodbye; we say goodbye back

Emily Garber

For those nights when it was hard to choose, Metallagher functioned as both a stand-up comic and metal cover band. Every city needs at least one of those.

But now the Twin Cities is without.

Metallagher, the group that paid homage to the metal band and the 1980s prop comic, has bid farewell.

We all know about Metallica. Gallagher was that partially balding comic in suspenders that smashed watermelons with his loyal Sledge-o-Matic. Gallagher attracted a middle-aged audience who brought plastic bags as protection.

Metallagher’s fans, in contrast, couldn’t care less about the mess. They were there to rock, to yell, to get sticky.

Metallagher’s last show at the Triple Rock on April 1 was the ultimate ending to April Fools’ Day. But sadly their breakup was no joke.

A&E will miss them – and not only because they were a Minneapolis claim to fame. Here are a few reasons the musicians who laughed over spilled milk have left their mark.

Top five things we will miss about Metallagher
5. There was something comforting about being splashed in the face with Miracle Whip while “Fade to Black” was assaulting our eardrums.

4. We went to see Metallagher, but always were surprised by the interesting opening acts. We’ll miss the class of stand-up comic Doug Stanhope, former host of “The Man Show” and “Girls Gone Wild.” Because lord knows we wouldn’t see him unless Metallagher was there, too.

3. The frontman of Metallagher would sweat through that rainbow-striped shirt like the real Gallagher never could.

2. We no longer had to explain to our roommates why we smell like watermelon when we come home on Saturday night.

1. Metallagher has taught us many important lessons. We now know what the combination of milk, produce and beer smells like: the sea lion area in the Como Zoo.