Dr. Date: Mr. Dud or Stud; Best Friend Forever; Scared to Fall in Love Again; Maybe misled

#Dr. Date,

So, I just recently dated a guy that wasn’t the cutest button in the box. He was really nice, and that’s why I agreed to go out with him, but he wasn’t the type of guy I usually date. 

I know this sounds superficial, but I was definitely the cuter one. It’s not debatable. Then, I got to thinking Ö is it better to be the cute one or to have the cute one? I’ve been in both situations.  If you’re the cute one, hurrahÖyou’re cute. 

BUT, then you’ve got this dud at your side. If you not the cute one, everyone is so impressed with the great catch you landed, but then you’ve got people wondering how on earth you got this hot man. 

So, is it good to be the better looking one in a relationship, or is the glory found in being the dud?

Mr. Dud or Stud

Dear Mr. Dud or Stud,

I don’t think there is a definitive answer for you – whether you’re being comfortable being the dud or the stud depends on your self-confidence.

If you are really comfortable with yourself and have a strong sense of self-worth, you shouldn’t have a problem being the dud at all. You won’t worry about whether your stud will leave you for a more stunning person, and you won’t worry that passers-by on the street will question what he’s doing with you.

On the other hand, if you’re the stud, you shouldn’t think twice about what other people think of your dud. He’s obviously not dud-ly to you. If your friends criticize, at least you can tell them why this person has value to you.

In your case, it sounds like you’re wondering whether to go out with this dud that you like. I say go for it. You will be commended for not letting his dudliness bring you down.

Dr. Date

Dear Dr. Date,

I have what I commonly refer to as the “best friend” disease. See any cute, young, eligible bachelors walking around campus? Chances are they are my best friend. Chances are they are spilling their guts to me about all their girl drama or lack there of. Chances are I will never date them.

Don’t get me wrong, I love knowing they feel comfortable confiding in me, but how much is too much? I mean, what’s a girl supposed to think?

Best Friend Forever

Dear Best Friend Forever,

We go to a school of 50,000 people. You’re not best friends with everybody. You can’t be. It’s impossible. You’re not best friends with me.

Your issue is probably a result of your friendly personality. I’m sure you seem open to chat with everybody and anybody about their personal problems. The cute, nice guys probably see you as someone who is welcoming and understanding.

You should use your warm personality to your advantage. Most guys are not really close friends with girls unless they have at least a little, tiny sweet spot for them.

So tell them how you feel. Your personality and ability to listen to their problems will give you a step-up on the competition.

Dr. Date

Dear Dr. Date,

I’ve got a problem here… I’ve been seeing a girl for awhile now, and it’s been going wonderfully. We are very compatible, and I care about her very much.

However, I went through a messy breakup not that long ago, and I’m scared to devote my feelings to someone as much as I did before since I got so hurt.

I know I’ve been acting weird for a couple weeks now, but it’s because my feelings are starting to scare me.

I really don’t want this girl to think that she’s just a rebound, or that she’s doing something to upset me … what’s my next move?

Scared to Fall in Love Again

Dear Scared to Fall in Love Again,

I think the reason you’re scared is that you are not sure if you are totally over the hurt you felt from your last relationship. It could stem from your own fear of rejection.

I think that if you are genuinely interested in this girl – and she’s not a rebound – she’ll understand that you like her and want to be with her. She’ll take you seriously.

But make sure you’re over any hurt or ill-will from the past. It will come back to haunt you in the end if there are any lingering feelings.

It is easy for me to tell you not to be afraid to go into a new relationship. It’s easy to say that you’re being weak for trying to protect yourself. But anyone who’s been through a rough break-up knows that sometimes you have to be careful.

In this case, though, I don’t think this girl considers herself a “rebound” relationship. Evaluate how you feel about your ex, then move on. If you don’t have any feelings for your old girlfriend, you can devote everything you have to the new girl. Good luck.

Dr. Date

Dear Dr. Date,

All right, so I’ve been dating my girlfriend for almost two-and-a-half years now, and things are beginning to get a little stale and boring. No matter how hard I try to keep the flame, it has completely burnt out for me. Man, she is so serious about the relationship, and for so long I’ve just gone with the flow. My girlfriend is so laid back and has an awesome personality; I’ve just been feeling like we need some time apart.

About a month ago I met this awesome chick, Nicole, who has definitely sparked my interest. She’s fun, easy going, sexy, and seems equally interested. I would eventually like to date her and see what else is out there, since my current situation is kind of a downer. When I talk to my girlfriend about taking some time apart she gets really depressed and gives me a huge guilt trip for even thinking about ending our relationship.

How can I deal with this situation without completely hurting my girlfriend? How can I find the independence to date Nicole without making my girlfriend upset? Should I be even be considering this new chick over a girl I’ve been with for so long?

Maybe misled

Dear Maybe misled,

I think your interest in Nicole is just a side-effect of boredom in your current relationship. But I strongly believe that nobody should be in a relationship just because it’s more “convenient.”

Break-ups are awful. Especially when you’ve dated for more than two years. Your girlfriend will cry, you will cry, your friends will worry.

In the end, however, you will not regret things. Your girlfriend will find someone who truly appreciates her, and you will feel better about yourself for not being in a half-hearted relationship.

You also might really like this Nicole girl, but chances are you should take some time alone after the break-up. If Nicole is still there after you’ve recovered, consider asking her out.

But be honest with yourself about your relationship with your girlfriend now. In the end, she deserves someone who really wants to be with her.

Dr. Date