ThereâÄôs a physics teaching shortage on the home front, according to a The Minnesota Daily report. But beyond the fact that many high school physics teachers arenâÄôt existent or necessarily qualified anymore, thereâÄôs a storm brewing in the teaching sector. Teaching fetches, on average for the public school teacher, about $48,000 per year, according to the U.S. Census Bureau. But of course this is including all ages and degrees of educator. Many earn their masters or Ph.D.s to ameliorate their money woes when they start out, since, according to a 2006 College Board report, entry-level teaching jobs only fetch in the low $30,000s. The teaching markets are unattractive for prospective takers, and âÄî letâÄôs face it âÄîteachers donâÄôt really get that much respect, either. We all remember making fun at the sagging skin on our English teachers, or the dimwitted way that our geography teachers spoke about the moraines of Wisconsin. U.S. students are getting dumber, too. American 12th-graders perform under international levels for science and math, and many students are so incompetent with numbers that the only math they hope to stare-down is the percent marked down on the new Mossimo hoodie at Target. With a gaggle of underachievers on the rise, the forecast is gloomy for the next age: 2 million new teachers in the coming decade will have to be hired to account for the rising tide of students, turnover rates, and career instability. How can the teaching industry attract the best and the brightest for the new age? The PhysTEC program, featured in the aforementioned article, is hoping to inspire more kids to teach, but I just donâÄôt think that will be enough in the economic recession, where everyone is crazily pocketing their cash. What we should do is rework the system in which we live âÄî meaning, we replace our defense expenditures with our education needs, and essentially replace the military with our teachers. This involves funding ALL of our education needs through our defense budget. In the most efficacious way imaginable, our students will enroll in a certain curriculum highlighted by a fast-paced, no-questions-asked style to teach for America. They will learn everything in their preferred field within a matter of two years; and when this is up, they will be deposited somewhere in the world to gain experience teaching children for another two years. Their tenure abroad will be highlighted by a Pacifist policy and no firearms, so the teachers abroad will defend themselves, if need-be, through knowledge and quick wits. It will be dangerous, but well worth the struggle. When they come home, they will receive all the benefits of the regular military, including the handsomely-fitted uniforms with all the spangles of medals, the free money, the free drinks and the free traffic tickets. They can choose to teach publicly at home for a cushy government salary, or they can enter the private sector and follow their own dreams. While all this goes on, the regular military will be turned into skilled employees that will work to reinforce our infrastructure and build large, useful âÄúthingsâÄù in honor of the teachers who so bravely risked their lives abroad. LetâÄôs value intelligence the way we value America. Matt Grimley welcomes comments at [email protected].